


Speaking Softly

by femmefatales



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bottom Jensen, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit in later chapters, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gentle Kissing, Gentle Sex, Hurt/Comfort, J2, Light Angst, Loss of Virginity, Love Confessions, M/M, Moral Dilemmas, Mute!Jensen, Mutual Pining, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Police Officer Jared, Porn With Plot, Separation Anxiety, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-16 03:25:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3472640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/femmefatales/pseuds/femmefatales
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared Padalecki, a 27-year-old police officer with a psychology degree gets assigned a special case. His job is to do one thing and one thing only-- Get Jensen Ackles, a seventeen year old boy who's been badly abused, to talk.<br/>~<br/>*heads up* Jensen is 17 for the first half of this fic. However, nothing romantic or sexual will happen between Jared and Jensen until Jensen is 18 years of age.<br/>Not beta'd, this is really just for fun! Sorry for any spelling mistakes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. White

Jared sat up groggily, streams of profanity falling from his lips as he repeatedly smacked the top of his buzzing alarm clock in an attempt to shut it off. He hated that damn thing more than anything on the entire planet. Waking up in the mornings meant leaving his nice, warm bed. And leaving his nice, warm bed also meant going to work. Sure, Jared loved his job. He always had. But this had been an extremely boring year for the Dallas Police Department. Not much had been going on which was pretty unusual for a huge city like Dallas. No bank robberies, no serial killers. Yeah, Jared was happy that the people were safe, but sitting at a desk all day mulling over small misdemeanors was...well, boring. **  
**  
Jared grumbled, allowing himself to stay under his blankets for a few blissful moments before dragging himself out of bed. He rubbed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair, noting that it was getting ridiculously long and that he would be needing a haircut soon. The guys at work had been calling him “Rapunzel”-- it was funny at first, but now it was just plain irritating. After brushing his teeth and slapping some aftershave onto his neck, Jared rummaged through his closet for a clean work suit. He had always been terrible at doing laundry. Eventually, he found an old, discolored navy suit. Despite being incredibly tacky, Jared figured that it would do the trick.  
  
~  
  
After entering the police station, also known as Jared’s office, he wasn’t greeted by the usual cheerful hellos of his coworkers but rather the deep and mildly frightening eyes of his boss, Jeff.  
  
“Hey, Boss,” Jared said nervously. Had he done something wrong? “Padalecki,” Jeff nodded curtly at Jared. “Follow me to my office, if you don’t mind.”  
  
Oh, _shit_.  
  
Jared did as told, following his boss like a lost puppy. Christ, his hands were sweating. Was he going to get fired? Probably. Maybe his hair was too long and therefore against regulations. Maybe that was it. Jared hoped that was all it was. Jared turned around one more time before entering Jeff’s office and his best friend and coworker, Chad, gave him a sympathetic smile. Jared could almost hear him saying, “Good luck, buddy.”  
  
Jared sat down in the plush, red chair across from Jeff’s desk. He wrung his hands in his lap, fixating his eyes on a picture of Jeff’s wife hanging on the wall. He just had to remember that Jeff was human. Maybe he’d have mercy.  
  
“Padalecki,” Jeff said, recapturing Jared’s attention. “Do you know why you’re here?”  
  
Jared immediately began rambling.  
  
“It’s the hair, isn’t it? I’ll cut it, Sir, I will, I’m sorry, I--“  
  
“Jared.”  
  
“Yes Sir?”  
  
“Shut up.”  
  
Jared swallowed.  
  
“Sorry, Sir.”  
  
“You’re here because I have a special case for you.”  
  
Jared blinked.  
  
“Special case?” He asked stupidly.  
  
“Yes, a special case. You majored in psychology, is that correct?”  
  
Jared nodded. “Yes.”  
  
“You’ve been doing exceptional work around here at the station, Padalecki. You haven’t had a sick day in over two years. This, along with your degree, makes you the perfect man for this case.”  
  
Jared felt himself smiling like an idiot, giddy with relief.  
  
“Thank you, Sir. What kind of case is it?”  
  
Jeff sighed. “I was getting to that.”  
  
Jared was about to begin apologizing again only to be cut off by Jeff.  
  
“Two days ago, a seventeen year old boy was found alone in his home, beaten almost to death.”  
  
Jared’s eyes widened. “How did you find him?” He asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.  
  
“New neighbors called us after hearing his screams. There’s evidence of past abuse all over his body. The world wasn’t very kind to this kid. ”  
  
“Jesus,” Jared mumbled.  
  
“He came to yesterday morning and we were all expecting him to reveal the names of his attackers. But, turns out, the boy is mute as well as illiterate.”  
  
Jared drew in a breath, heart aching for the boy.  
  
“That’s where you come in, Padalecki,” Jeff said, looking at Jared solemnly. “You’re going to help us get him to talk.”  
  
Jared nodded. Getting people to talk was one of Jared’s strong points. Whether it was a criminal, witness, or victim, Jared was always the one to get them to spill their secrets. He figured it had something to do with his strange ability to understand people’s minds. Some people would call it manipulative, but Jared liked to think that he only used his powers for good.  
  
“Yes, Sir. I’ll try,” Jared said. “But isn’t he mute? What if it’s impossible?”  
  
“Maybe it’s impossible. But no DNA was found on his body or at the scene. We aren’t going to be able to figure out who did this unless Jensen tells you himself.”  
  
“Jensen?” Jared asked. “Is that his name?”  
  
“Yes. Jensen Ackles. Are you free at the moment?”  
  
Jared thought back to his boring desk, filled up with countless files of cases to go through.  
  
“Yeah, I’m free.”  
  
“Then I’ll give you a ride to the hospital. Bring whatever you think is necessary,” Jeff said, nodding at Jared.  
  
Jared got up and thanked Jeff, agreeing to meet him out by the entrance in five minutes. Jared ran back to his office, ignoring Chad’s questions, and grabbed a pen and a notepad off of his desk. Maybe he could get the boy, Jensen, to draw his attacker.  
  
Jared was halfway to the parking lot when he thought of something else. Jensen was a seventeen year old boy trapped inside of a hospital and Jared figured he must be bored out of his mind. With that thought in mind, Jared sprinted back to his office and grabbed one of his Star Trek DVDs that he kept on his desk at all time (for emergencies.)  
  
The ride to the hospital was long and awkward. Jared asked Jeff a few more questions about the case and for the rest of the way the two sat in silence. Once they finally arrived, Jared was more than happy to get out of the car, despite the ridiculously hot and humid weather. Jared sighed quietly when he was faced with the entrance of the hospital. He had always hated hospitals, ever since he could remember. They were always so gloomy inside, so full of death and illness. Especially ones such as these--the ones with giant glass windows, modern architecture, and parking lots the size of Disneyland.  
  
“You ready?” Jeff asked. Jared nodded, swallowing his discontent. The two of them walked inside and Jared was immediately greeted by the smell of rubbing alcohol and hand sanitizer. They walked up to the front desk and Jeff asked the secretary where Jensen’s room was. She shook her head.  
  
“I’m sorry, sir, but this patient is not taking visitors right now,” She said with a red-lipped smile. Her dirty blonde hair was tucked into a tight bun and Jared could scarcely make out the name “Elizabeth” on her name tag. Jeff put on his most intimidating facial expression and held up his badge and Jared quickly followed suit. The secretary’s mouth fell into an “O” shape.  
  
“Down the hall to the right. Room 103. Please, try not to bother him too much if you don’t mind. The patient needs his rest,” She said. Jared smiled at her.  
  
“Of course, Ma’am. We’ll make it quick.”  
  
They found the room quickly and Jared was surprised to see that the door was wide open. Was that the usual for hospitals?  
  
“Well, what are you waiting for?” Jeff said, and Jared realized that he had been spacing out again. “Go inside.”  
  
“You’re not coming?” Jared asked. Jeff looked at him strangely.  
  
“No, Padalecki. This is all you.”  
  
Jared shrugged and walked inside, softly closing the door behind him. He stopped in his tracks when he saw what was before him.  
The first thing Jared noticed was the insane amount of white. The walls were white, the bedding was white, even the paintings were white. It was unnerving to say the least. But what really caught Jared’s eye was the boy sitting up in bed, staring out of the window. His face was so beat up that Jared didn’t understand how he could have survived. There were a few shallow, jagged cuts across his swollen cheek, and one of his bright green eyes was completely swollen shut. His bottom lip was split and rest of his face was covered in purplish-yellow bruises. The kid was unrecognizable; face so swollen that Jared couldn’t even see what he looked like. Jared was shocked into silence for a few moments--Who could do this someone?  
  
Jared cleared his throat, hoping to get the boy’s attention. He was ignored, however, and Jensen continued staring intently out the window.  
  
“Hi, Jensen,” Jared said in his softest, sweetest voice. “I’m Jared.”  
  
Still nothing. Jensen showed no signs of knowing that Jared was even there.  
  
“Do you mind if I talk to you for a little while?” Jared asked, walking over to Jensen’s bed. This seemed to get Jensen’s attention. He quickly turned his head, looking at Jared with wide eyes (well, eye). Jared could sense Jensen’s fear.  
  
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you,” Jared said quietly. Jensen seemed to relax a bit at Jared’s words, sinking into his pillow slightly. “How are you, Jensen?”  
  
Jensen tilted his head at Jared, who thought for a moment that if Jensen wasn’t so beaten up he’d look something like a confused puppy. Jared knew that Jensen was mute, but he had assumed that Jensen would understand the English language. Perhaps he was wrong?  
  
“Do you understand what I’m saying?” Jared asked, trying his best not to sound patronizing.  
  
Jensen stared for a moment longer and Jared wondered what was so fascinating about him. Then Jensen nodded and Jared was hit by a wave of relief; Jensen understanding English would make his job a hell of a lot easier.  
  
“Good, that’s good,” Said Jared. “So tell me, Jensen, do you like it here? In the hospital?”  
  
Jensen looked away and ran a purplish, frail hand across his white bedding. He held it up to Jared, who was unsure what message he was trying to convey.  
  
“Bedding? You like the bedding?”  
  
Jensen nodded, swollen mouth twisting into something that resembled a smile. Jared felt himself break into a grin as well. This was good. Jensen was responsive which meant he would able to engage in conversation.  
  
“Looks like pretty nice bedding. What about the food? I’ve heard hospital food sucks,” Jared said in an attempt to sound more friendly and less like a therapist.  
  
Jensen shook his head, hard. He pointed to the empty trey on his nightstand and then gave a thumbs up. Jared laughed. He liked this kid.  
  
“Seriously? It’s good? Never would’ve guessed.”  
  
Jensen nodded and there was a moment of silence. Jared debated with himself if this would be the right opportunity to get Jensen to help them locate his attacker.  
  
“They tell me you can’t read or write,” Jared said. “Is that true?”  
  
Jensen wrung his hands in his lap. Jared was unsure what this meant-- Was it shame?  
  
“Don’t worry about that. What about drawing? Do you like to draw?”  
  
Jensen shook his head “no”, dirty blonde hair flapping around as he did so.  
  
“Well, would you be willing to draw something for me? Just this once?”  
  
Jensen shrugged and then winced. Jared felt a pang of sadness for the kid. He must be in a lot of pain.  
  
“Hey, don’t move too much. Here, I’ve got a notepad and a pencil,” Jared said, holding up the blue notepad. Jensen stared at it for a seconds and then Jared placed it on his lap. Jensen looked down, opened the notebook, and flipped through the pages. Jared caught another glimpse of his hands. Like every other part of his body that Jared could see, they were covered in bruises. Jensen looked up at Jared expectantly.  
  
“Do you think you could draw the face of the person who...did this?” Jared said, choosing his words carefully. “Something about them that stuck in your mind, something that--“  
_Rip._  
  
Jared watched with wide eyes as Jensen tore the notebook in half and then in half again, proceeding to throw the pencil across the room. It almost would’ve been funny if it wasn’t for the pure, unadulterated fear in Jensen’s expression.  
  
“Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to draw anything,” Jared said softly, noticing Jensen’s shaking hands. It dawned on Jared, then, why Jensen refused to tell. He probably feared for his life. Maybe he had been threatened-- That would be the most likely possibility. Jared leaned forward to put a comforting hand on Jensen’s shoulder and Jensen _flinched_ , covering his face.  
  
“Woah, woah. I’m not gonna hurt you, alright? I promise,” Said Jared for the second time, making a mental note to refrain from touching the kid. Christ, he was doing this all wrong. But Jensen seemed to relax once again at his words, looking up at Jared apologetically.  
  
“Don’t be sorry. I should be saying sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you,” Jared said, smiling sheepishly at Jensen. That glazed look was back in Jensen’s eyes. He was staring at Jared as if he could see through him or something. Jared figured that maybe it was time to head out.  
  
“I’m gonna get going, okay?” Jared said. “But first I have something for you.” He reached into his briefcase and pulled out the Star Trek DVD, placing it gently on Jensen’s lap. “Thought you might be...you know, bored.”  
  
Jensen looked stunned, staring down at the DVD and the back up at Jared. His eyes were wide as he graced the side of his hand over the shiny surface of the DVD. Jared looked at Jensen, unsure if this was a positive or negative reaction. And then Jensen looked up at him and Jared was shocked to see tears in his eyes. Then Jensen placed a hand to his lips and brought his fingers outwards, pointed in Jared’s direction. Was he...blowing Jared a kiss? That couldn’t be. And then it dawned on Jared. That meant ‘thank you’ in American Sign Language, didn’t it? Jared felt himself grinning like an idiot. Part of him knew that he should ask Jensen how well he knew ASL, but the kid looked too happy with his gift and he didn’t want to bombard him with questions.  
  
“You’re welcome. If you want anymore DVDs I’ll bring them to you. I’m sure the nurse can help you put it in the TV up there if you can’t do it yourself,” Jared said, nodding at the small TV attached to the wall across from Jensen’s bed. Jensen was smiling hugely now, even though Jared knew that it probably hurt him to do so.  
“See ya, kiddo,” Jared said, waving at Jensen as he made his way over to the door. Jensen waved back, still smiling slightly at Jared.  
As Jared made his way to the waiting room where Jeff was most likely waiting for him, he thought of the visit he and Jensen had just had. What a sweet, sweet kid. Traumatized, yes. But Jared could that he was a kind person from a mile away.  
  
Jared saw the back of Jeff’s salt and pepper head from behind the fish tank, realizing with a sinking feeling in his gut that he hadn’t gotten any information out of Jensen. Would his boss be disappointed in him? Probably.  
  
“Hey, Boss,” Jared said. Jeff raised his eyebrows and Jared could almost hear him saying “Well?”  
  
“He was awesome. Really nice kid. And he was responsive. Even knew how to say ‘thank you’ in ASL,” Jared took a breath. “But I, uh, tried to get him to draw his attacker and it didn’t work out too well. Ripped the notebook in half.”  
  
Jeff sighed. “Thank you for trying, Jared,” He said solemnly. “Figured it’d take more than one visit.”  
  
“He’s...difficult,” Jared said, looking down at his hands. “Fragile. I’m sorry, Sir, but I think it’ll take time.”  
  
“I understand. Don’t beat yourself over it.”  
  
“Thank you. Do you think I could meet with him again soon? And keep trying?” Jared asked, trying to keep the hope out of his voice. For some reason he just really liked Jensen--He had this soft kindness about him that just made Jared want to befriend him.  
  
Jeff nodded. “Let’s give him a week to heal. How’s that sound?”  
  
Jared figured that that was a good plan. Maybe if Jensen wasn’t in pain it would be easier for him to communicate.  
  
~  
  
That night, as Jared lay in his bed attempting to sleep (he’d always been somewhat of an insomniac) he thought about Jensen. Where was he going to go after all of this was said and done? The foster care system? That wouldn’t end well, Jared was sure of it.  
  
Jared turned his pillow over to the cold side and sighed, finally drifting off with the fleeting image of an emerald green eye in his mind.


	2. Breathe

Jared came to work groggy the following morning. He was immediately greeted by a ridiculously curious Chad who began asking him questions the moment Jared walked through the door.  
  
“What did Boss want with you yesterday? Did you get fired?”  
  
Christ, Jared didn’t have time to deal with this right now. He had about fifty cases waiting for him on his desk and hadn’t had time for coffee this morning.  
  
“No. He gave me a special case,” Jared mumbled. Chad’s eyes widened and then he broke into a mischievous grin.  
  
“Special case? Nice. You gettin’ extra pay? Cuz if you are you should buy me a drink later,” Chad said. Jared rolled his eyes.  
  
“Alright, alright. I’ll take you out for a drink. Not sure if I’m getting paid extra yet but I don’t really care either way. I want to help this kid.”  
  
“Kid?” Chad asked, raising his eyebrows.  
  
“Yeah. Badly abused his entire life. He’s mute.”  
  
“Damn,” Chad said, smile melting into a grimace. “What do you have to do?”  
  
“I have to get him to reveal the name of his attacker. It’s not gonna be easy. Pretty sure he’s been threatened.”  
  
Chad’s eyes were wide. “Poor guy.”  
  
Even Chad, who was a sarcastic asshole the majority of the time, had a heart.  
  
“Yeah,” Jared said quietly, remembering the fear in Jensen’s eyes when he had attempted to touch him. He wondered for about the twentieth time that day what someone would have to do to a person to turn them into someone like that. “Pretty sure it’s too late to fix him but I can at least try, right?”  
  
Chad’s smile was back, only this time it was sort of sad.  
  
“You’re too damn nice, Man.”  
  
~  
  
Jared had been sitting at his desk for almost two hours now and he’d only gotten through less than half of his cases. Of course, the fact that he was distracted with thoughts of Jensen didn’t help his progress. Eventually, when he was getting too restless, he decide to learn some sign language. He still wasn’t sure how much Jensen knew (who would’ve taught him? If his parents were the ones who had been abusing him they clearly wouldn’t take the time to help their mute son) but he figured why not try? Maybe he could even teach Jensen new words. After finding some website dedicated to teaching the reader ASL, reading it, and practicing an abundance of hand motions, Jared had learned “How are you?”, “My name is Jared”, and “It’s good to see you.” Well, he figured. It was a start.  
  
Jared, absorbed in his work, hadn’t noticed his Boss standing at the entrance to his office. Jeff cleared his throat and Jared’s head snapped up immediately.  
  
“Oh, hi, Sir,” He said. “Didn’t see you there.”  
  
Jeff nodded curtly. “Padalecki. Do you mind if I take a few moments of your time?”  
  
“Of course, Sir. I don’t mind at all.”  
  
Jeff cleared his throat and sat down across from Jared’s desk, eyes weary. Jared wondered what was troubling him.  
  
“I have a favor to ask you,” He said. “A huge favor.”  
  
Jared looked at Jeff strangely. “What is it?”  
  
“Jensen Ackles will be turning eighteen in less than two months. But he should be out of the hospital in eight days. Do you know what that means?”  
Jared shook his head, unsure where this was going.  
  
“It means that he’s going to be placed in a foster home for the last two months of his adolescent life. We will have no say in where he ends up,” Jeff took a breath. “I know this is a lot to ask, Padalecki. And if you’re not able to do this then I’ll understand.”  
  
“Do what, Sir?”  
  
“Would you be willing to take Jensen in? We believe, with your demeanor and skills, that this would be best for him. It would only be until he turns eighteen.”  
  
Jared stared at Jeff for second. He wanted Jared to take care of Jensen?  
  
“Of course!” Jared said, unable to stop himself from smiling. Not only was he a bachelor making more than enough money to support another person, but his apartment got really damn lonely sometimes. This would also give him an opportunity to continue working with Jensen.  
  
Jeff raised his eyebrows, seeming surprised but pleased at Jared’s enthusiastic reaction. “You sure about this? Jensen isn’t a normal kid, he’s going to be difficult.”  
  
“Yes, Sir, I’m sure. And I know. I’m willing to work with him.”  
  
Jeff’s shoulders sagged with relief. “Thank you, Jared. I think this will be the best way for Jensen to recover.”  
  
Jared smiled. “It’s no problem. Do I need to sign papers or something?”  
  
“Yes, I’ll fax them to your office. Are you sure you don’t need another night to think about this?” Jeff asked, meeting Jared’s eyes. “Two months is a long time.”  
  
“I’m sure. I’ve actually been worried about the kid. You know, wondering where he’d end up after this,” Jared said. Jeff nodded solemnly.  
  
“You’re a good man, Padalecki.”  
  
~  
  
“You what?” Chad asked, staring at Jared like he had three heads.  
  
“I agreed to be Jensen’s legal guardian until he turns eighteen.”  
  
“You’re kidding me,” Said Chad, slapping both hands on the table in front of him. It was Saturday night and Jared was taking him out for that drink he had promised. “You’ve gone fuckin’ insane, that’s--“  
  
Jared had predicated that Chad would act like this. He sighed.  
  
“Chad. He’s a sweet kid with no where to go.”  
  
“Dude! So what?! You said he was abused his entire life, right? Do you know how messed up this kid is gonna be?!”  
  
“He’s not ‘messed up’. Don’t be an asshole. Just different,” Jared said, glaring at Chad and remembering the sweet smile Jensen had given right before he left the hospital room.  
“Yeah, different,” Chad said, snorting. “What if all the crap he’s been through turned him into a psychopath or something?”  
  
Jared sighed once again, putting his head in his hands and messaging his temples. Yeah, Chad was a good guy, but he could be such an ignorant asshole sometimes.  
“I don’t think you get it, Chad,” Jared said, lowering his voice and meeting Chad’s eyes. “The system will eat him alive. He’s going to be eighteen in two months and he doesn’t have much time before they force him out into the real world. I have a goddamn degree in this stuff, Chad. I can work with him, maybe even teach him to read and write. You know, help him get better.”  
  
Chad’s eyebrows were knitted together. Jared knew from past experiences that this was his thinking face.  
  
“You’re a cop, not a babysitter,” Chad mumbled half-heartedly. “And you’re also too damn nice for your own good.  
  
Jared laughed and shook his head, knowing that he had Chad convinced.  
  
“Knew I could get through to you, buddy. You act all tough but you’re just a big softie.”  
  
“Oh, shuddup. I’ll egg your apartment again, don’t test me.”  
  
Jared’s mind flashed back to the fateful night that had taken place almost two years ago. Jared and his now ex-girlfriend, Sandy, had beat Chad and his friend at a game of cards. Chad, convinced that the two had cheated, had proceeded to egg their apartment.  
  
“You wouldn’t dare. I still haven’t gotten you back for that,” Jared said.  
  
“No, you haven’t. And you won’t cuz you’re a pussy.”  
  
Jared shoved Chad and the two of them laughed for five minutes straight.  
  
~  
  
The rest of the week proved to be extremely dull and uneventful for Jared. He had spent most of his time at work powering through the many cases on his desk and busying himself with more sign language. He’d memorized the alphabet and learned a few more basic sentences, although it was turning out to be much more difficult than he had anticipated.  
  
Once the week was finally over, however, Jared waited in anticipation for his next visit with Jensen. According to Jeff, if he was completely healed by the time Wednesday rolled around, Jared would be taking Jensen home with him. On Tuesday, the night before Jared was supposed to pick up Jensen, he had worked hard to make his house suitable for a teenage boy. He’d cleaned up all the crap in his living room and bought a new queen-sized bed for Jensen and placed in the spare room in his apartment. Jared wasn’t sure what Jensen’s likes and dislikes were as he had not been able to ask him, but he had purchased a plethora of DVDs for Jensen to watch. Unless he didn’t like movies. But who didn’t like movies, right?  
Jared felt extremely stressed the following morning as he drove to the hospital. What if Jensen didn’t want Jared to be the one to take care of him? Or worse, what if Jared wasn’t able to help him? He sighed and continued driving, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel in anticipation. Once he finally arrived, he took a moment to breathe before stepping out of the car. Everything would be alright. Unless Jensen didn’t like him, then maybe it wouldn’t.  
  
Jared mentally chastised himself for worrying too much as he walked through the doors and up to the receptionist’s desk. It was the same woman who had been there the previous week, Elizabeth. Jared smiled at her as he handed her the thick stack of paperwork that he had signed over and over again.  
  
“I think Jensen is in good hands,” She said, smiling up at Jared through her thick-rimmed glasses. “Right this way.”  
  
She led Jared down the hall until they were at room 103 and then walked away, leaving Jared alone. The door was closed this time and Jared wondered why. He took another deep breath, knocked a couple times, and then let himself inside.  
  
“Hi again, Jensen, remember m--“ Jared stopped mid-sentence after taking in Jensen’s appearance. Jensen was standing, now, looking directly at Jared. His bruises had faded, his cuts had healed, and his left eye was no longer swollen. But this wasn’t what caught Jared’s attention, however. What had him staring was the fact that the kid looked like some kind of teen heartthrob or something--He was ridiculously good-looking. His round, green eyes were surrounded by thick eyelashes and his jawline was chiseled and sharp. Despite his masculine face shape, however, Jensen had the poutiest, girliest lips Jared had ever seen. There was a light dust of freckles sprinkled across Jensen’s perfect, upturned nose and all over his golden skin. Jesus, were his parents models or something? It was almost scary, how perfect this kid was.  
  
“Uh,” Jared said, realizing that Jensen had probably noticed his staring and snapping himself out of it. “Sorry. You just look a lot...better. I’m Jared, the guy from a week ago. You remember me?”  
  
To Jared’s surprise, Jensen lifted up a frail hand and waved shyly, smiling slightly did so. Jared swore that he was temporarily blinded by the sight.  
  
“You remember? Awesome,” Jared said, smiling back at Jensen. “Did they..uh, did they tell you who’s going to take care of you now that you’re feeling better?”  
  
Jensen’s face fell and his eyes were wide with that now-familiar fear inside of them. Shit, Jared thought. Shit shit shit. Maybe Jensen didn’t want him to take care of him after all.  
  
“You don’t want me to? I totally understand if you’d rather be in the foster care system, I can try to undo the paperwork,” Jared said, trying and failing to keep the disappointment out of his voice. But he noticed that Jensen no longer looked fearful; his head was tilted sideways only slightly. Confused?  
  
Jensen pointed at Jared and gave him a questioning look.  
  
“Me? What about me?”  
  
Jensen pointed to himself and then pointed at Jared.  
  
“What? Oh, oh. I see what you’re trying to say. You didn’t know I would be the one taking you home, did you?”  
  
Jensen nodded.  
  
“Seriously? Figured someone would’ve told you by now,” Jared said. “But, uh, yeah. I was planning on becoming your legal guardian until you’re eighteen. Only if you’re alright with it.”  
  
And then Jensen was smiling again, only this time it reached his eyes. He nodded and gave Jared a thumbs up, who felt happiness bloom in his chest at Jensen’s positive reaction.  
  
“You like that idea? Really?”  
  
Jensen nodded once again and then walked over to his nightstand, opening the top drawer and pulling out the Star Trek DVD. Then he held up his left hand in a Vulcan Salute. Jared was confused a moment and then burst into laughter. Christ, could this kid get any better? Jared returned the gesture and wiped a tear away from his eye.  
“You’re awesome, Jensen,” Jared said. “Glad you liked it.”  
  
Jensen looked shocked for a moment and then he was blushing furiously, shaking his head ‘no.’ Jared was taken aback. The kid must not have been used to compliments.  
“Yes, you are,” Jared said. _You’ve gone through so much crap that no kid should’ve had to go through and yet you can still smile like that. ___Jared decided to change the subject before Jensen could protest further. “You think you’re ready to go?”  
  
Jensen’s smile returned and he nodded. He walked over to the closet and took out a pair of clean clothes. Jared assumed that the nurse must have left them there for him for whenever he was to be released from the hospital.  
  
“I’ll give you some privacy. Meet me outside?” Jared asked. Jensen nodded.  
  
Jared stood outside for a few moments until Jensen emerged in a light grey T-shirt and faded blue jeans. He looked different in regular clothes, better. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was obviously too thin and that he had a few remaining, yellowing bruises, then Jensen easily could have passed for a regular kid.  
  
“Alright, Jensen,” Jared said. “I’ll drive us back to my place.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!! Here is chapter 2. I hope you like it. I will be super happy if you tell me what you think! Thank you for reading!


	3. Radio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends!!! Sorry it's taken me so long to update. But I promised you guys I would finish and I intend to keep that promise. Thank you so much for reading, and I love comments!! :)

Chapter 3

Jared had expected the drive home to be awkward and silent. And for the first few minutes, he was right. Making conversation with someone who couldn’t speak was already proving to be a very difficult task. Jared looked over at Jensen who was leaning his head on the window and staring intently at every building they passed. He was tapping his slim fingers on the interior, almost in some sort of repetitive beat. This gave Jared an idea.  
  
“Jensen?” He asked. Jensen’s head shot up immediately when Jared said his name. “Do you like music?”  
  
Jensen nodded eagerly, eyes lingering on the radio. Jared smiled.  
  
“Thought so. What kind do you like?” Jared asked, although he knew that Jensen wouldn’t be able to give him a legitimate answer. Jensen shrugged.  
“Alright, let’s try this,” Said Jared, turning the radio on and switching to a popular Top 40 station. Something repetitive and catchy by Justin Timberlake blasted out of the speakers and Jared cringed internally, hoping that Jensen would protest. But Jensen just shrugged once again.  
  
“I’ll take that as a no?” Jared asked rather hopefully, looking at Jensen who cringed and nodded. Jared laughed, amazed at how much the kid could express himself using only facial expressions.  
  
“Thank God. Okay, how about...,” Jared turned the knob to a familiar classic rock station, one of his favorites for working out. ‘Eye of the Tiger’, which in Jared’s opinion was ridiculously overplayed, began to play. “This?”  
  
Jensen shook his head and looked at his hands.  
  
“Agreed. Here, what about this one? It’s my favorite,” Jared said, switching to his preferred alternative/rock station. ‘Figure it Out’ by Royal Blood began to play and Jensen nodded, giving Jared the same thumbs up that he had given him the first time Jared visited him.  
  
“Awesome. You have good taste,” Jared said, smiling. He was relieved that they had at least something in common that wasn’t Star Trek.  
  
~  
  
Jared gave Jensen the grand tour once they arrived. He showed him the bathroom, the living room, Jared’s room (after telling him to find Jared there if he ever needed anything), and where he would be sleeping.  
  
“Sorry it’s kind of boring, I wasn’t sure how you’d want to decorate so I left the room alone,” Jared said, looking at Jensen nervously. Jensen was staring with wide, green eyes. He slowly walked over to the bed Jared had bought him and ran his hands over the sheets, barely touching it as if it was some kind of treasure.  
  
“I hope it’s okay, I figured a queen would be big enough for you--“  
  
Jensen turned around and Jared was shocked to see tears in his eyes. Jensen pressed his hand to his lips and signed “thank you” just as he had done when Jared bought him the Star Trek DVD. Jared couldn’t help but feel taken aback by Jensen’s gratitude.  
  
“Hey, wow, you’re welcome, it’s nothing special,” Jared said. Jensen wiped his eyes on his sleeve and smiled up at Jared. Jared wondered how terribly Jensen must have been treated in his previous home for him to feel so much gratitude for such a small favor. Poor kid.  
  
“You hungry?”  
  
Jensen shrugged and avoided Jared’s eyes. Then Jensen’s stomach growled loudly and his face flushed with embarrassment. Jared laughed--Jensen probably didn’t want to be a bother.  
  
“I’ll take that as a yes. What would you like to eat?”  
  
Another shrug. Jared bit back a groan of frustration. He had to remind himself that he was here to work with Jensen.  
  
“How about mac and cheese? It’s my specialty,” Jared said, flashing Jensen a crooked grin. Jensen nodded and continued to avoid Jared’s eyes, shifting his weight from one ball of his foot to the other.  
  
“Alright, I’m on it. You wanna watch TV? Or you can read if you want. I have a ton of books,” Jared said, pointing Jensen toward the living room. Jensen didn’t reply but he walked away from Jared and quickly made his way over to the book shelf, choosing Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. Jared was impressed by Jensen’s choice of literature until he realized something and stopped in his tracks.  
  
“Wait a minute,” Jared said. “I forgot that you couldn’t read. You...can you?”  
  
Jensen’s round eyes widened and he immediately dropped the book, scurrying over to the coach and sitting down awkwardly. Jared watched, eyebrows raised, as Jensen fumbled with the TV remote and turned the television on.  
  
“Good try. You know how to read, don’t you, Jensen?”  
  
Jensen’s face was pale and Jared noticed that his hands were beginning to shake once again.  
  
“Hey, it’s alright. I’m not mad at you, okay?” Jared said, lowering his voice and walking over to where Jensen sat on the couch. “But I would like it if you were honest with me.”  
  
Jensen swallowed audibly, took a breath, and then nodded. Jared smiled at him reassuringly.  
  
“This is great, Jensen. It’s good that you can read. You’re a really smart kid,” Jared said softly. “Do you think you could tell me why you were pretending you couldn’t read? You had all my colleagues convinced. ”  
Jensen shook his head and twiddled his thumbs, avoiding Jared’s eyes as usual. Jared was beginning to figure out Jensen’s quirks already; he had trouble maintaining eye contact. Jared remembered that this was a sign of social anxiety and pondered the possibility that Jensen might have a disorder of some sort.  
  
“Alright, that’s fine. You don’t have to,” Jared said, deciding that now was not the time to pressure Jensen with questions. “What do you say I make us something to eat? Do you like Mac N’ Cheese? Sorry, not much of a cook.”  
  
Jensen smiled brightly and nodded, signing ‘thank you’ once again. As Jared left Jensen alone with his book, he mentally reminded himself to figure out how much sign language Jensen knew. Perhaps ‘thank you’ was the only word in his ASL vocabulary. Jared quickly finished the mac n cheese and added a little extra into Jensen’s bowl. He brought the bowls out, hissing at the painful heat under his palms, and walked back into the living room only to find Jensen curled up on the couch, deeply immersed in Great Expectations. The sun from the nearby window was hitting his face and Jared could make out every freckle, every fleck of gold in Jensen’s green eyes. He was focusing intently, chewing his plump bottom lip and barely blinking as his eyes scanned across page after page at an incredibly fast rate. Jensen’s face once again was like a punch to Jared’s gut--He’d never seen a man so aesthetically pleasing. Jared shook his head and snapped himself out of it because no, Jensen was not a man. He was a boy. A very damaged boy who was now technically his son, at least in legal terms.  
  
“Jensen?” Jared said softly. Jensen jumped and slammed the book down immediately. Geez, Jared thought. The kid was easily frightened. “I’ve got your food.”  
  
Jensen smiled warily and accepted the warm bowl from Jared.  
  
“You really like that book, don’t you? I read it once, back in high school,” Jared said, staring at the familiar purple cover. “Difficult read.”  
  
Jensen shrugged and began digging into his man n cheese, taking small and almost tentative bites. God, had his parents starved him or something? Jared wouldn’t doubt that based on the other horrible things they had done to Jensen.  
  
“You can eat as much as you want, okay? If you want seconds don’t be afraid to ask,” Jared said. Jensen tilted his head slightly sideways and looked at Jared, confused.  
“You don’t understand what I’m saying? Eat as much as you need. There’s plenty.”  
  
Jensen was still for a moment, staring at Jared with glossy eyes, until he suddenly picked up his fork and began shoving fork after fork of the cheesy noodles into his mouth. Jared couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him when Jensen dropped a few noodles onto his shirt. The kid sure was hungry.  
  
“Glad you like it,” Jared said. “Try not to choke.” His eyes darted to the clock on the wall. It was already past nine PM. Where had the day gone?  
  
“Jensen, if you get tired just let me know and I can show you where your room is again. You know, in case you forgot.”  
  
Jensen shook his head slightly, conveying the message to Jared that he remembered.  
  
“Alright. That’s good. Want me to leave you alone and let you read in peace?”  
  
Jensen shook his head, harder this time, and Jared felt warmth bloom in his chest.  
  
“Okay. You sure?”  
  
Jensen nodded and stoop up, now-empty macaroni bowl in hand. Jared watched, shocked, as he brought it to the sink, rinsed it out, and proceeded to place it in the dish washer.  
  
“Thank you,” Jared said, still pleasantly surprised, when Jensen sat back down. Who had taught Jensen manners? Jared had so many unanswered questions about Jensen and they’d barely even spent a day together. Just how many would come up over the course of these next few months? Jared noticed the fresh cheese stain on Jensen’s shirt and realized that he would need to buy more clothes for him.  
  
“Hey, if you’re up for it tomorrow, what do you say about going for a walk around town? We need to get you some more clothes.”  
  
Jensen looked down almost shyly and shrugged once again.  
  
“You don’t want to? That’s okay, you can keep borrowing mine. It’s just that they’re gonna be pretty big on you.”  
  
Jensen shook his head and looked the other way. What was he trying to tell Jared?  
  
“You...hold on. Do you feel guilty because I’m offering to buy you clothes? Is that it?”  
  
Jensen visibly swallowed and nodded. Jensen let out an airy laugh.  
  
“Jensen. I’m your legal guardian now, that’s why I’m here. To take care of you.”  
  
Jensen’s eyes stayed fixated on the floor.  
  
“It’s my pleasure to buy you more clothes, okay? I want to.”  
  
Jensen finally looked up and met Jared’s eyes. He smiled sadly.  
  
“Okay? You’ll go?”  
  
Jensen nodded.  
  
“Awesome.”  
  
~  
  
The following morning, Jared woke up at around ten. He stumbled into the kitchen, yawning and yearning for a hot cup of coffee. He clumsily made his way to the counter and was surprised to see that there was already one waiting for him.  
  
“What the...?” He said, picking it up and taking a sip. He sighed contentedly when he tasted the hot liquid on his tongue--It was made exactly how he liked it.  
  
“Jensen?” Jared asked quietly, stepping into the living room. “Did you make me coffee?”  
  
Jensen was curled up on the couch in the same spot as before, halfway through Great Expectations. He looked up at Jensen and smiled nervously, running a hand through his messy hair.  
  
“Wow. Thank you. I really appreciate it, you didn’t need to do that.”  
  
Jensen blushed and looked down, folding a page in his book. Jared was surprised when he felt tears prickling at his eyes; How could someone who had been treated like such crap be so kind to others? He snapped himself out of it and kept himself together for Jensen’s sake. It was then that Jared noticed the shadow of purple beneath Jensen’s eyes.  
  
“Did you sleep alright?”  
  
Jensen nodded.  
  
“Sorry, kid. I don’t buy it. When did you go to bed?”  
  
Jensen swallowed and held up four fingers.  
  
“Four AM? Jesus, when did you get up?”  
  
Jensen hesitated.  
  
“You’re not in trouble or anything.”  
  
Jensen held up six fingers.  
“Woah. Two hours? How come you couldn’t sleep?” Jared asked. Although he figured that this was a stupid question. Jensen was probably overwhelmed, living in a new home with a new guardian whom he barely knew. It was probably too much to take.  
  
Jensen shrugged.  
  
“This is too much for you, isn’t it? Would you rather be placed with someone else? I can try to arrange something--“  
  
Jensen shook his head violently and practically glared at Jared. Woah, that was new.  
  
“No? That’s not it? What is it then?” Jared said. Not like Jensen could actually answer, but Jared figured that it was worth a try.  
  
Jensen looked puzzled for a moment, almost as if he was deep in thought. Suddenly he was rushing to the couch and pulling Great Expectations out from between the couch cushions.  
  
“Were you reading all night?”  
  
Jensen shook his head and began to flip through pages rapidly. After a few minutes of confused silence on Jared’s end, Jensen held up a page and pointed to a specific word.  
  
Nightmares.  
  
Jared’s heart sunk.  
  
“Nightmares? You’ve been having nightmares?”  
  
Jensen nodded, focusing his eyes on the ground.  
  
“Geez, that’s rough. I would ask you to talk about them. But you know. Anything I can do to help?”  
  
Jensen shook his head ‘no’ and signed ‘thank you’.  
  
“If you ever can’t sleep like this again, come wake me up alright? We can stay up and watch a movie or something. How’s that sound?”  
Jensen smiled brightly, revealing a row of straight white teeth. Jared smiled back.  
  
“Still up for that walk into town? If you’re too tired then we can go tomorrow.”  
  
Jensen gave Jared a thumbs up.  
  
~  
  
Jensen was practically stuck to Jared their entire walk into town. He refused to touch Jared but stood behind him constantly, hiding in his shadow and practically jumping out of his skin every time someone walked past. This behavior confirmed Jared’s suspicions--Jensen had some severe social anxiety. Jared wondered for a moment if this was contributing to Jensen’s inability to speak.  
  
“Jensen, you alright? We can turn back if you want.”  
  
He shook his head and held his ground, making a short-lasted effort to walk next to Jared instead of behind him.  
  
“It’s okay. You can stand behind me if you want. Whatever helps you feel more comfortable.”  
  
Jensen returned to his previous position and Jared smiled to himself. Jensen reminded him of a puppy-- one hell of an obedient one.  
  
“We’re almost there.”  
  
After a few more minutes of silent walking, the two had finally reached the shopping mall in town. It was crowded and bustling, and Jared noticed that Jensen looked pale. Perhaps taking him to the mall on a Saturday was not a good idea.  
  
“Are you sure you don’t want to go back home? We can come on a less-crowded day.”  
  
Jensen shook his head, determined. Jared chuckled. The kid sure was stubborn.  
  
“Alright. Where do you want to go for clothes? I’ve always liked American Eagle, but that’s just me.”  
  
Jensen stared at Jared blankly.  
  
“No preference? Alright, American Eagle it is then.”  
  
Jared knew where that store was instinctively because it was his favorite. He led Jensen inside and was immediately greeted by a young sales girl. She looked about seventeen, with long blonde hair and a charming smile.  
  
“Hello! Anything I can help you with today?” She asked. Jared noticed her eyes were focused on Jensen.  
  
“No, we’re alright. Thank you.”  
  
She looked mildly disappointed but scampered off anyway, beseeching them to come find her if they needed any help finding clothes.  
  
“I think she was into you,” Jared said to Jensen after the girl had left. He did his best to ignore the pang of jealousy (it was completely uncalled for) that he was feeling.  
  
Jensen flushed.  
  
“Trust me, she was.” But who wouldn’t be? Jared thought. “Do you like T-shirts?”  
  
Jared held up a light blue T-shirt in a size medium. Jensen, rather than looking at the actual shirt, reached his hand out and began...petting it? Jared was perplexed.  
“What are you doing? Don’t you want to try it on?”  
  
Jensen ignored Jared’s words and continued stroking the fabric. Strange.  
  
“You like the way it feels?”  
  
Jensen snapped out of his trance and nodded at Jared, who smiled. Jensen certainly had an odd way of doing things.  
  
“Alright then. How about we go find a couple more? Then you can try everything on.”  
  
They shopped for a while and Jared had to contain his laughter every time Jensen was more focused on the material than the actual style of the garment. Eventually they had collected three various T-shirts, two pairs of jeans, and one pair of shorts. Jared, although he was reluctant to do so, had to ask the sales girl to open a dressing room for Jensen. She looked thrilled and it made Jared feel a little sick to his stomach.  
  
“Anything else I can help you with, Sir?” She asked Jensen, placing a manicured hand on his shoulder. His eyes widened and he flinched, color draining from his face. The girl drew away almost immediately, shocked. She opened her mouth to speak but Jared cut her off.  
  
“Don’t touch him. You can’t touch him, got it?”  
  
She flushed and nodded.  
  
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t--“  
  
“It’s fine. Just freaks him out.”  
  
Jensen looked somewhere in between terrified and mortified, looking down at the ground and shuffling his feet awkwardly.  
  
She opened the room in awkward silence and scurried away, apologizing over and over as she did so. Jared looked at Jensen, who was trembling slightly. Jared felt the urge to embrace him, to tell him that everything was going to be alright and that no one was going to hurt him. But Jared knew that touching Jensen would just freak him out even more.  
  
“You alright?  
  
Jensen nodded quickly and took the clothes from Jared. He proceeded to lock himself inside the dressing room. Jared waiting a few minutes and then Jensen emerged, wearing the first pair of jeans they chose and a tight-fitting grey T-shirt. Jared clenched his jaw and tried to keep himself from imagining what Jensen would look like without those clothes on. God, Jared needed to get his shit together and stop viewing Jensen in that way--He was technically still a child, for Christ’s sake.  
  
“You, uh,” Jared cleared his throat. “You look good. They comfortable?”  
  
Jensen began to stroke the material of his shirt again, lifting it up slightly and revealing a sliver of tan skin in the process. He twirled around in the new clothes, smiling brightly at Jared. Jared returned the smile, relieved that Jensen had finally calmed down from the previous incident. Jared swallowed. Jensen smiled up at him, completely oblivious to the very inappropriate images flashing through Jared’s mind.  
  
“Good. We’ll get them. Want to try on the others?”  
  
Jensen headed back inside the dressing room.  
  
~  
  
After what Jared would consider a pretty successful shopping trip, he had purchased four shirts and two pairs of jeans for Jensen. They were walking home now, and Jared was happy to see that Jensen seemed less nervous than before. Yes, he still flinched whenever someone walked too close to him, but Jared could tell that he was more relaxed.  
Jared smiled to himself when Jensen began walking directly next to him. Then their shoulders brushed and Jared’s heart practically stopped--would Jensen freak out like before? But to Jared’s surprise, Jensen didn’t seem to notice. He breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe touching only spooked Jensen if he was aware of it.  
The warm spring air and the clear sky made Jared feel at ease (it seemed to be having the same effect on Jensen). And although Jensen never spoke, there was something about him that just made him really good company. Everything was going so well, Jared thought.  
  
But Jared had spoken to soon.  
  
In the distance, looking in the window of a woman’s boutique, was a familiar brunette. Jared froze, heart practically stopping. Sandy.  
Sandy was Jared’s ex. They’d dated a few years back when Jared was just starting his job at the station. Their relationship hadn’t been a healthy one; It was loving at times, but more than not the two of them were constantly fighting. When Jared had come out to Sandy as bisexual she had been the exact opposite of supportive. Jared still remembered her harsh words--She’d called him a sinner, called him confused. She had given him an ultimatum--Stop being bisexual or lose her for good. Jared had chosen the second option. Needless to say, it had ended in tears. And the two hadn’t spoken since.  
  
Jared thought that maybe he could make a break for it and run the other way. But that was no longer and option when their eyes met and Sandy started walking towards them.  
“Jared?”

  



	4. Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, um, hello! Two years later and I've decided to return to this fic. People kept leaving the sweetest comments on it, and it seems a lot of you really want me to finish, so I will try my absolute hardest to do so. Even if it has been like two years, hahah! I had a sudden burst of inspiration.   
> To any new readers, thank you very much for giving this fic a chance. I hope that you enjoy it.   
> I hope you all are having a very good day! <3

Jensen practically jumped out of his skin at the sound of Jared’s name. Jared winced, murmuring a quick “It’s okay, she won’t hurt you” to him before Sandy was in earshot. She wore a modest red skirt and a feathery white top. Her dark hair, curled at the ends, framed the soft features of her face. If it had been two years ago, Jared would have found her to be beautiful. But now, coupled with the terror in Jensen’s electric green eyes, she looked menacing. 

“Oh, hey, Sandy! How are you?” Jared said in an attempt to be cordial, friendly even. Sandy only stared back, black eyes narrow. She gave Jared a once over and then her gaze moved towards Jensen, who was peeking out from behind Jared’s broad shoulders. 

“Who’s this?”

Jared’s smile faltered because he could practically see the disaster that was about to unfold. “This is Jensen.” 

She nodded stiffly at Jensen, taking him in, and then her eyes returned to Jared’s. “I see you’ve found someone else like you. He’s handsome, Jared, prettier than a girl,” She almost spat, taking a step closer to Jared, who was staring at Sandy, slightly appalled. 

“He’s not--he’s a foster kid, someone I’m taking care of for my job! Why are you being so rude?” 

She laughed bitterly, and the sound was nothing like the beautiful, carefree laughter that had graced Jared’s ears during the majority of their time together. “A foster kid? This good looking? You should be ashamed of yourself, Jared.”

An alarming spike of rage set Jared’s chest on fire, and soon his features reflected Sandy’s pointed glare. “Ashamed of myself? For what?! Please, tell me.”

“For going against nature. For being with men. For leaving me like you did,” She said, and Jared’s anger immediately began to subside when he noticed the tears forming in the corners of her eyes. “It’s been a year since we’ve talked, Jared. A year!”

Jared sighed, looking at Jensen apologetically. Although still stiff as a board, Jensen seemed to register the fact that Sandy held no immediate threat. Reluctantly, he returned his gaze to Sandy after taking a deep breath. “Sandy. I get it, you were brought up in a really Conservative household. Who I am is wrong in your eyes. But just because I understand doesn’t stop it from hurting,” He sighed, loathe to continue this speech. He wanted to get out of here, get on with his day, Jensen by his side. “I can’t be friends with an ex who doesn’t even acknowledge or support who I am.”

Sandy’s mouth was open slightly, glossy lips agape, and Jared knew why. He’d never put her in her place like this before. He’d never so much as talked back to her. 

“Look, Sandy,” Jared continued, gentler this time. “I know you’re a good person. You really are. You weren't just my girlfriend, you were my best friend. I’m always going to remember that, but until you get over this homophobia thing I don’t think there’s much more I can say.”

Sandy blinked rapidly, and Jared smiled at her softly. “I’ve gotta go, Sandy. I have a kid to spend time with. But it was nice talking to you.” 

Without an ounce of regret, Jared turned around with Jensen at his heels before Sandy could respond. 

~

Once they’d returned to Jared’s apartment, Jensen simply stood in the doorway, wringing his hands together, and Jared could practically feel the anxiety rolling off of him in waves. Jared took a seat on the couch and smiled warmly, patting the cushion as farthest away from him as possible. “Come here, kid.”

Jensen’s eyes widened but he did not budge, continuing to stand in the doorway like a thin, unsure scarecrow. 

“Hey, don’t worry about Sandy, alright? She’s an ex girlfriend. Do you know what that is?” Jared asked, voice soothing but not patronizing. The last thing he wanted was for Jensen to think that Jared was talking down to him, but he wasn’t sure exactly how sheltered the boy had been from the outside world. Unsurprisingly, Jensen tilted his head sideways in confusion. Jared smiled sadly, chest constricting as he wondered for the millionth time that day how long Jensen had been mistreated, and if he’d been hidden away. 

“Well,” Jared began, fluffing the pillow next to him as a silent invitation. Jensen’s eyes followed his movements but he still did not budge. “We loved each other. We were together, in a relationship. You know, more than friends.” 

Jensen blinked, eyes huge, and Jared huffed out a laugh and facepalmed, hair falling in front of his eyes. “We were in love. Did you ever read storybooks?” Jared asked. If Jensen knew how to read, and could read Charles Fucking Dickens as fast as lightning, then he certainly had to have started somewhere. The boy nodded, slowly and cautiously taking a step forward. _My explanation must be working,_ Jared thought. “Do you remember all those silly stories about Princes and Princesses? Or...wait! Kind of like Kirk and Spock from Star Trek!” 

Jensen grinned, his entire face changing shape, and it was beautiful. And then he laughed. 

Jared’s heart caught in his throat as, for the first time in the two days they’d spent together, Jensen laughed. It was gentle, soft, and small, not unlike the boy himself, and his bony chest shook slightly with the effort. His voice, although quiet, seemed to be deep; deeper than Jared had expected. Something about seeing Jensen so happy, so full of life, made Jared want to cry. Again, _Damn,_ He thought, scratching the back of his head and blinking quickly. _I really need to man up and get my emotions under control._

“Glad…” Jared began, clearing his throat and flushing when his voice cracked. “Glad you like my dumb jokes.” 

Jensen was still smiling hugely, and gave Jared two thumbs up. He began shuffling over to him, tentatively at first, and took a seat directly beside Jared, who raised his eyebrows in surprise. _Hm, He’s almost touching me. Maybe it’s the familiarity?_

“Hey! Want to watch something?” 

Jensen nodded eagerly, like a kid in a candy shop, and Jared’s heart throbbed with a wave of fondness. Jared reluctantly stood up and placed his Superman DVD into the VCR, brushing lint off of his jeans as he did so. Almost immediately, Jensen’s eyes were locked onto the screen, fascinated, before the movie had even began. 

“Did you not have TV at...home?” Jared asked, cursing inwardly at his use of the word ‘home’. But Jensen didn’t seem to be bothered by the question, being as he shook his head and kept his attention on the colorful screen before him. 

“Oh. Well, it’s pretty great huh? I could waste away in front of this thing. Reading is way better for your brain. I don’t want to be a bad influence on you, Jensen,” Jared said playfully. He reached out a hand to ruffle Jensen’s hair, or pat him on the shoulder, only to draw away sharply when Jensen’s soft features contorted into something horribly fearful. He scooted away almost instantly, body impossibly tense, and Jared felt his stomach plummet. How did he slip up like that?

“I’m so sorry, Jensen. I won’t hurt you. You know I won’t hurt you,” Jared said, voice gentle and cautious. “I’m sorry I tried to touch you, I won’t do that again, okay? And I won’t hurt you,” Jared felt the need to repeat that last part, because Jensen didn’t seem to have gotten the message. 

Eventually, though, as the movie went on, Jensen slowly moved closer to Jared on the couch. Relief flooded Jared’s senses at this minute action, because he was one step closer now. He was one step closer to getting this boy to talk, to help Jared and his colleagues bring him justice. 

After his thoughts had tapered off, Jared allowed himself the privilege of actually enjoying the movie. The original Superman had always been one of his favorites, and he had to fight the urge to rant about it to Jensen. About halfway through the film, Jared noticed that a soft, repetitive breathing was coming from the boy beside him, and he whirled around to take a look. Sure enough, Jensen was fast asleep, chest rising and falling. With his eyes closed, his lashes seemed even longer than they were, and his skin glowed where the setting sun was streamed through the living room windows. 

Jared chuckled, shaking his head, and got up. He tiptoed over to the chest beside the fireplace where he stored all of his most fuzzy blankets, and draped one over Jensen’s thin body, He smiled down at the sleeping boy fondly, feeling happier than he had in awhile. He grabbed a blanket for himself, a thick one with red and blue patches, and took a seat next to Jensen. Soon, he was dozing too, and the pair fell asleep just inches from one another.


	5. Sketch

Jared was woken up from a soft dream, a peaceful dream, by the heartbreaking sound of small sobs. He sat up, groggily staring out the window; the moon was high in the sky, and the clock read 3 AM. They two of them had slept for almost 8 hours. Or rather, judging by the barely audible sounds coming from the next room, only Jared had. Once he realized what exactly he was hearing, Jared’s eyes widened in concern and he practically jumped off of the couch, all grogginess gone almost immediately, the dream fading quickly from his mind. 

“Jensen?” Jared called, and the tiny sobs stopped immediately. “Jensen, hey, where are you? It’s alright, you’re alright.” 

Jared heard nothing. He walked into his office, where the sounds seemed to have been coming from, and froze when he saw Jensen. He sat in the corner of the room, behind Jared's computer desk. His eyes were huge and red from crying and he was holding onto his knees. His gaze darted around the room and he shrunk back at Jared’s entrance, cowering impossibly closer into the wall. 

“It’s just me, Jensen. What happened? Did you have another nightmare?”

Jensen looked up at him, but his eyes were glassy; he didn’t seem to register who Jared was, or what he was saying. When Jared took a cautious step forward, Jensen all but yelped, cowering like an abused animal. Jared closed his eyes, swallowing the sudden lump in his throat. “Jensen. You’re safe. Can you hear me?” Jared asked, kneeling down but keeping a safe distance. “It’s Jared. You’re safe here, I promise. I won’t let anyone hurt you.” 

Jensen stared blankly at Jared for a few moments, chest heaving with quick and fearful breaths, and then his eyes widened as recognition finally set in. Jared was shell-shocked when Jensen lunged forward, scrambling over to Jared in just a few steps.

Jensen grabbed Jared’s hand. 

Jared’s mouth dropped open for a minute as his eyes flickered from their now-intertwined hands to Jensen’s face. Jensen’s thin fingers were squeezing the living daylights out of Jared’s larger ones, holding on for dear life, and Jared instinctively picked up his thumb and began stroking the thin, butterfly-like skin of Jensen's hand, and the boy’s eyes fluttered closed. 

“Shh,” Jared said as another tear dripped off of Jensen’s upturned nose. “Shh, I’ve got you, kiddo.” Jared was touched, beyond thrilled that Jensen had taken the initiative and made physical contact for the first time, under these circumstances. _Well, he’s definitely not haphephobic._ He continued running his thumb soothingly over Jensen’s hand, being as it seemed to sooth him, soon then tension had left the boy’s body and he sagged against Jared, boneless. 

Jared caught him in an instant, allowing Jensen to lean against him without a thought. He was so thin, so light; Jared felt as though he was holding onto a precious piece of porcelain. He wouldn’t break Jensen, couldn’t break Jensen. 

“I’ll keep you safe, Jen. Can I call you that?” He mumbled into the boy’s hair, which smelled like Jared’s own shampoo, not expecting an answer. “I’ll make sure no one ever hurts you again.” 

Jensen sniffled, pressing his head into the crook of Jared’s neck. His shaking had subsiding, as had his rapid breathing, and Jared let out a sigh of blissful relief. “See? I’ve got you. Come on, what do you say we have some really, really early breakfast? I can make pancakes!” 

Jensen tore his face away from Jared’s tear-soaked shirt, and looked up. His lashes were wet and his cheeks were flushed red from his crying. Jared was once again stunned into silence by his beauty. 

“U-Um,” Jared said, clearing his throat and mentally chastising himself. “That is, if you want me to. If there’s something else you'd like to eat, I can make that too.” 

Jensen grinned, wiping his tears away with trembling hands, and nodded. Jared smiled, suddenly giddy, as he helped Jensen to his feet. “There we go. Hey, if this ever happens again you know you can wake me up, right? I’ll never be angry at you for that.” 

Jensen seemed puzzled by this, and somehow Jared doubted that he would ever actually wake him up, but he had to try. 

He led Jensen to the kitchen and noted fondly that the boy was still practically attached to him. He allowed his body to brush up against Jared’s with every step, seemingly loath to get away from him, and it made Jared’s chest warm with pride and fondness. Once they’d reached their destination, Jared rubbed his hands together excitedly.

“Alright, Jen. I’m gonna teach you to make pancakes.” 

Jensen practically vibrated in place, eyes impossibly huge. _Oh, he’s excited._ Jared thought absently. Jensen watched in fascination as Jasred began gathering the ingredients: flour, baking soda, sugar, milk, eggs, and butter. 

“So this is what we need. Want to come see?” Jared asked, hoping he didn’t sound too condescending. Perhaps Jensen already knew how to make pancakes, after all, he wasn’t a child. Much to Jared’s relief, though, Jensen practically skipped over to the cluttered counter with a small smile on his lips. Behind him was the kitchen window, and the rising sun basked Jensen in an ethereally warm light. “Alright,” Jared began, picking up his measuring cups and filling them with flour and sugar. You need one and a half cups of flour, and a tablespoon of sugar. But I have a sweet tooth, so I always put in two or three,” Jared smiled sheepishly, and Jensen nodded. 

“Oh! Do you like sweet stuff too?” Jared asked hopefully. Jensen nodded, stronger this time, and Jared beamed. “Awesome! Three tablespoons it is, then. Y’know, I wish you could tell me what your favorite food is. Maybe someday you’ll write it down for me?”

Jensen shrugged, eyes suddenly on the ground, and Jared decided that this was an issue for later. “Hey, no worries. Do you want to come pour everything in? You can crack the eggs too if you want.” 

Jensen obliged, awkwardly emptying the measuring cups into the large metal bowl Jared had provided. Jensen’s body completely tensed when he spilled a bit on the floor. 

“No problem! No worries, I make messes all the time. We’ll clean it up together once we’re finished!” Jared said hurriedly so as to prevent another breakdown. Whomever had been in charge of Jensen before this was obviously not very lenient when it came to mistakes, Jared thought bitterly. Jensen, although confused, seemed to relax at Jared’s words. 

“I’ll do the eggs, okay?” Jared offered, grabbing them and cracking them in one swift movement. Jared prompted Jensen to add the rest of the ingredients with a nod that said ‘go ahead’ and Jensen smiled as he went to work. 

After all was said and done, the two had successfully created a lopsided mound of oddly-shaped pancakes. Jared laughed at the sight, and soon Jensen joined in (quietly, but he did) and Jared felt like he was flying. “We did it!” Jared said, raising his hand to give Jensen a high five. His smile fell, having realized his mistake immediately, but this time Jensen simply reached out his hand with wide eyes and grabbed Jared’s own. Jared breathed out a shaking sigh of relief, grin returning as quickly as it had left. “Jensen, that's not how you...nevermind. Thanks, for making these with me.” 

Jensen flushed pink and was still for a moment, only to sign _thank you_ in return. Jared made a mental note that he did not know how to say ‘you’re welcome.’ _So much for him knowing ASL,_ Jared thought dejectedly. He looked up, meeting Jensen’s absurdly green eyes, and noticed that he had a smudge of flour on his nose. Jared snorted. 

“Jen, you got flour on your nose.”

Jensen went adorably cross-eyed in an attempt to see it for himself, and Jared practically melted on the spot. “Here, I’ll get it.” Jared reached out a gentle hand, slowly and carefully, and was pleased to see that Jensen barely flinched when he rubbed the flour off with the pad of his thumb. “Got it. Let’s eat.” 

~

The day went by quickly. Jared was on top of the world; it was only day three and Jensen had already allowed physical contact with him. Jensen was sitting across from him, now, hyperfocused on _Great Expectations_ , chewing his bottom lip. Jared wondered if now would be a good time to get more out of him, to ask him more questions; his stomach churned at the thought. That was the purpose of all of this, originally. To find out who did this to him. 

“Hey, Jen,” Jared said, voice quiet. “Sorry to interrupt your reading, but can I ask you something?” 

Jensen nodded, dog-earing the page and meeting Jensen’s eyes, head tilted slightly to the side in a gesture of curiosity. 

“I...I know this is a tough subject for you, so I need to to be calm for me, okay?” 

Jensen paled, but nodded, and Jared watched as he began picking at his thumb nail. “Jensen. You do not deserve what happened to you, I hope you know that. No kid, no person, should ever have to go through what you did, and my colleagues and I want to prevent someone else from getting hurt.” 

Jensen swallowed, tears forming in his eyes, but stayed put. _Good,_ Jared thought. _We’re getting somewhere._

“To protect other kids like you, Jen, we need to know who did this to you so that we can stop them. We’ll make sure you’re safe, I promise. We’ll keep you safe from whoever did this,” Jared stared at Jensen with intensity, hoping he could portray just how serious he was about this promise. Jensen shuddered, all color drained from his face, but gave Jared a small, pained nod. 

“Thank you. Thank you so much. Is there anything you’re comfortable telling me? I know you can’t use your words, so...maybe we could try drawing again?” When Jensen didn’t protest, Jared got up and rummaged in his kitchen drawers for a notepad and pen. Eventually he found one that had belonged to Sandy, which was pink and covered in kittens.

“Here, Jensen. This paper is pretty girly but I hope it works?” 

Jensen gave Jared a small, watery smile and began to draw with shaking fingers. Jared was on the edge of his seat, gripping the couch cushions beneath him as he waited with as much patience he could muster. The square clock on the wall, mounted above the TV, ticked obnoxiously. For a few tense minutes, that and Jensen’s soft pen-scratching were the only sounds permeating the silence. Finally, Jensen stood and walked over to Jared, handing him the notepad. Before he looked, Jared placed a reassuring hand on Jensen’s. 

“I promise. You’re safe.” 

Jensen plopped down beside him, biting his nails now. Jared swallowed and looked down, taking in the image before him. The first he noticed was that, damn, Jensen was a great artist; the entire image was complete with shading and perfect anatomy. The second thing he noticed was how horrifying the actual drawing was. 

A small boy sat in the corner of a tiled room, which Jared presumed to be Jensen. A woman, holding a knife or some kind of cane, stood over the boy;her hair was long, messy, and Jensen had drawn her without a face.  
As terrifying as that was, the worst of it was scribbled in messy handwriting at the bottom of the notepad: 

_It was my fault, Jared._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I got SUPER into this fic and I've written a lot in just a few days! I'm back, BABY! I feel so bad that I abandoned this for so long, I'm really happy to be back. Thank you to everyone, new readers or old; I appreciate you guys from the bottom of my heart. 
> 
> Again, not beta'd, sorry for spelling errors!
> 
> Sorry for the cliffhanger!! <3 Please comment and let me know if you enjoyed this fic/chapter!


	6. Sleep

After calming Jensen down and putting on a movie for him (it was Jurassic Park, this time, and Jensen had seemed very enthralled by the cover of the DVD) Jared stepped into his bedroom to call Jeff. His brain seemed to have short circuited; he knew that what Jensen had gone through had been horrible, but he had not been prepared for Jensen to believe that the whole thing was his fault. How emotionally manipulated did the kid have to be for him to come to such a conclusion? It made Jared’s chest ache. 

“Hello?” Jeff answered gruffly. 

“Hey, Boss,” Jared began, taking a deep breath. “I, uh, I got some info. From Jensen.” 

“Hold on,” Jeff said, and Jared could just make out the sounds of footsteps. “Alright, now I’ve got some privacy. Tell me what happened, Jared.” 

“Is this a bad time?” 

“Just tell me what happened.” 

Jared grimaced at the severity of Jeff’s tone. “Well, first let me tell you about how he’s progressing. Communication wise, he’s doing great! Facial expressions, hand gestures, the whole shebang. And Jensen initiated physical contact with me more than once, after he had a breakdown--”

 

“Woah woah, slow down, Padalecki. He initiated contact? This kid? He wouldn’t even let the doctors touch him. I was told that he had to be sedated.” 

“At first it was...there was no way I could touch him. If I raised a hand or got anywhere near him he’d lose it. But then I came to comfort him in the middle of the night when he was crying and he just...grabbed my hand. Since then he’s been grabbing my arm and sitting directly next to me. And, yeah. It’s new.” 

There was silence for a moment. “Damn, Jared, I knew you’d be good at this but I didn’t know you’d be _this_ good.”

Jared could feel himself blushing at the praise. “Oh, uh, thanks. Haven’t really done much, but I appreciate that.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Keep it comin’. What did you find out?” 

“Oh. Yeah, that. It’s...I think whatever Jensen went through involved a shit ton of emotional abuse, not just physical. He thinks it’s his fault.” 

“Why do you think so?” Jeff asked, tone grave. 

“I asked him to draw again, when he was more relaxed. I was shocked when he actually did it. I expected him to rip up the paper again,” Jared explained, breathless. 

“What did he draw?”

“God, Boss, it was messed up. He drew himself in a corner, and there was this lady--Hold on, I’ll just text you a picture,” Jared put Jeff on hold and snapped a photo of the drawing with his iPhone camera. He took Jeff off of hold and heard his sharp intake of breath. 

“He addressed you by name. Does that mean something?” Behind the usual tiredness of Jeff’s voice was a deep sadness. 

“I...I think it means that he wants me to know that...that he deserved to be treated that way. Me specifically. What do you think, Sir?”

“I’m not the licensed psychologist here, Padalecki. You are.”

“Oh, alright, uh, I think it’s because I’m helping him, you know, treating him like an actual human being. He wants me to know that he’s...not worthy of that,” It hurt Jared so much to say that, to feel Jensen’s pain, but the reason for the direct usage of his name was quite clear to him. “He doesn’t think he deserves help.” 

“I see. I take it you can’t leave him alone?” 

“No, Sir, definitely not,” A sudden mental image of Jensen crying in Jared’s apartment, alone and afraid, sent a shiver through his body. 

“How do you think he would react to me, if I came to your home and witnessed your interactions first hand? I’d like to see this for myself.”

“I don’t...I don’t know, Boss. I took him out on the town two days ago and he was terrified. But maybe if I talk with him first? Could be okay. I seem to have gotten the farthest with direct communication. Jensen takes well to words, and tones of voice.” 

“I see. When would be a good time for me to arrive?"

“Uh, he’s doing pretty well right now so maybe tonight? If you’re free?”

“I’ll be there. 8 PM.”

Jeff hung up the phone and Jared was left alone beside his bed. He could hear the soft lull of the TV from his living room, and he massaged his temples before heading back out to Jensen. He was engrossed in the film, eyes locked on the screen with a beautifully innocent fascination, and Jared’s heart lurched. 

“Hey, Jensen?” 

Jensen jumped about a mile but smiled when he turned around and saw who had called him. Somehow this set Jared’s heart at ease for the question he was about to ask. 

“Are you okay with my boss coming by and saying hello to you for a bit? He’s really a good guy.”

Jensen said nothing, just stared blankly at Jared. Jared shifted his weight awkwardly and gave it another try. “Will you be afraid? If I bring him here?” 

Jensen shook his head ‘no’, and Jared raised an eyebrow. “Oh. that’s...good? People seemed to make you really nervous, so I’m surprised.” 

Jensen pointed to Jared and then held up his index finger on each hand, and pressed them together. 

“You’re trying to talk to me! That’s great, Jensen. I don’t...I don’t think I know what you mean, though,” Jared mumbled awkwardly. If this was ASL, it was nothing he’d seen before, and he felt disappointed in himself for not being able to interpret the gesture. Jensen, however, was unfazed; he continued the motion; he’d point to Jared, press his two index fingers together, and do it again. Soon he began adding a thumbs up to the mix. 

“Okay, let me--let me try. Me. Jared. And then...the two fingers...Oh! Could that mean friends?” 

Jensen nodded eagerly, almost childishly, and Jared couldn’t help the wave of pride he felt at guessing something correctly. “Okay, I’m your friend? I’m glad I’m your friend, that’s great.”

Jensen laughed a little this time, quietly, and snatched the notepad and pen that had been left abandoned on the couch cushions. _Thank God,_ Jared thought as Jensen began scribbling. He showed Jensen the page soon after, and in familiar handwriting he had written:

_If he is your friend, then he will not hurt me. Because you will not hurt me. But I do not know why you will not hurt me._

Jared read the note once, twice, and then again. Much like before, he was floored by Jensen's flawless attempt at communication. _Why wouldn't he do this with anyone else?_ “Jensen, why would I want to hurt you?”

Jensen shrugged, refusing to grab the notepad from Jared when he handed it back. “I would never, ever want to hurt you, do you hear me? I’m very happy to have you here. And I’m happy you trust me enough to feel safe.” 

Jensen flushed a little, and Jared had to admit that he’d never seen anything so endearing.

~

Jensen showered, after asking Jared for permission about twenty times by pointing, and then emerged in his new clothes: the grey American Eagle shirt and jeans. He looked damn good and Jared had to take a moment to collect himself. _Seventeen, seventeen, seventeen, damaged, damaged, damaged._

The two sat on the couch as Jensen read and Jared watched Netflix, in a comfortable silence, until Jared heard a knock on the door. He looked over at Jensen, who was suddenly very tense. 

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Jared asked, voice gentle. Jensen nodded, chewing his lip, and Jared stood up slowly. To his surprise, Jensen followed after him and grabbed onto his arm. Jared smiled, placing a hand on Jensen’s head and ruffling his hair. Jensen smiled sheepishly, cheeks slightly pink, and Jared opened the door. 

There stood Jeff, although he was not in his usual police chief uniform; his hair was unkempt and he’d shaved his usual scruff. _Perhaps to appear less threatening?_ Jared wondered idly. 

“Hey there, Jensen,” Jeff said, and Jared fought back the urge to laugh at the uncharacteristically sweet tone of his boss’ voice. “I’m Jeff, good to finally meet you.” The older man held out a hand to shake, but of course Jensen did not reach out in return; he grabbed harder onto Jared’s arm, almost to the point of pain, but Jared found that he did not mind one bit. 

“Don’t think Jensen is ready for that yet,” Jared said with a smile, squeezing Jensen’s hand that had been toying with his fingers. Jeff nodded gruffly and Jared beckoned him to sit down at the kitchen table. He guided Jensen to a chair and laughed airily when Jensen refused to let go of him. 

“S’okay, Jen. Jeff is a good guy. You told me you’d trust him, remember?” Jared said soothingly. Jensen was still for a moment, still holding on tight, and seemed to come to some kind of mental conclusion and released Jared to take a seat beside him. “There you go!” Jared grinned, and he looked up just in time to see Jeff watching the interaction with increasingly wide eyes. He cleared his throat. 

“You really like Jared, huh?” 

Jensen said nothing, nor did he do anything to show that he’d even heard Jeff, aside from color slightly at his words. 

“I hope he likes me. I mean, he’s stuck with me for another month until he’s eighteen,” Jared said, nudging Jensen slightly. Jeff just nodded his head at the display, bushy eyebrows knit together in what Jared could only interpret as confusion.

“Padalecki,” Jeff began pulling out a notebook of loose-leaf paper. “Do you think you could get Jensen to write something down for us?” 

Jared drummed his fingers against the table, shooting a worried glance at Jensen. “Why don’t we ask him? Jensen, do you think you’d write something down for me? I’ll only show it to Jeff if you tell me it’s okay.”

Jensen visibly swallowed and began picking at his thumb nail, which Jared noted was chewed down to the nub. Jared was about to reassure him that he didn’t have to do anything he didn't want to, but then Jensen nodded and reached out his hand to Jeff. 

“That’s great, Jensen,” Jeff said with a forced positivity that once again, Jared couldn't help but find comical. “Take your time.”

And take his time he did. After staring at the paper in front of him for at least a tense two minutes, he began scribbling. He started off slow, but then his hand began moving at lightning speed in the same repetitive motion. 

“What are you writing?” Jared asked, soft and sweet. “Can I see?” 

Jensen ignored him and continued, scribbling and scribbling and scribbling, until Jared thought that the boy’s frail wrist might fall off. “Jensen,” Jared tried again, placing his hand on Jensen’s slim shoulder. “You there?” 

Jensen’s incessant writing came to an abrupt halt and he looked up, blinking at Jared as if he’d just come of out a daze. Jared smiled and waited until Jensen slid the notepad over to him, avoiding his eyes. 

Nine. On the paper was the number nine, written about one hundred times with an increased pressure and darkness. At the bottom of the paper, Jensen had pressed so hard that the pen had bled through. 

Jared frowned as he took in the drawing. “Nine…” He mumbled, passing it over to Jeff. Jeff equally puzzled as he traced his fingers over the dark chicken scratch. 

“Jensen,” Jeff began. “Can you tell us more about this number, and why it’s important?” 

Jensen said nothing, staring blankly over Jeff’s shoulder. Jeff sighed, shaking his head and shooting Jared a pointed stare. Jared took the hint and cleared his throat. 

“What about me? Can you tell me what it what means?” 

Jensen didn’t budge. 

“Sorry, Jeff, I think that’s the best we’re gonna get,” Jared mumbled, slightly dejected. 

"This was more than enough. Thank you, Jensen. You did well today." 

Jensen smiled, and in that moment Jared was hyper aware of how much he loved his boss. 

~

Jensen was still sitting rigidly in his chair after Jeff closed the door behind him. Jared’s eyebrows knit together in corner and he scooted closer to the younger boy. “Are you okay?” 

To Jared’s surprise, Jensen nodded and leaned into him, resting his head on his chest. Jared smiled, chest warm at Jensen’s showing of affection. And then Jensen was holding a trembling hand right in front of Jared’s eyes. Nine fingers. 

Jared sat up straight, heart rate increasing. “Yeah, Jen? Nine what?” 

Jensen pointed to himself. 

Jared’s brain was blank, and he wanted to kick himself for being so incompetent at deciphering Jensen's attempts at communication, until it dawned on him. He drew in a sharp breath and met Jensen’s frightened eyes. 

“Jensen. Were you taken when you were nine?” 

Jensen nodded, hard, and nuzzled back into Jared’s chest. He sniffled, and Jared’s heart ached in his chest. “Thank you. Thank you so much, for telling me,” Jared ran his fingers through Jensen’s hair, mind going about one hundred miles an hour. This was a start. They were one step closer to catching the sick person who damaged such a beautiful young man. “Hey, it’s late. Are you tired?” 

Jensen nodded, blinking blearily up at Jared. “It’s good that you’re tired! Maybe you’ll be able to get more sleep tonight.” Over the course of the last five days, Jensen had been sleeping for no more than a few hours a night. In the early hours of the morning, Jared would often find him curled up on the couch, reading one of the books in his small library. 

“Do you need me to walk with you? To your room?” 

Jensen blushed, looking down at his feet and shuffling awkwardly. Jared laughed, putting his arm around him. “It’s no problem, Jen. Really.” 

However, once they reached Jensen’s bed, the boy refused to let go on Jared, clinging to them hem of his shirt like a lost child _That’s new,_ Jared thought. “What’s up?” 

Jensen said nothing and Jared barely caught the way his gaze flitted quickly to the hall, and then to Jared’s face. 

“Are you asking...to come with me to my room?” Jared said, cursing internally. He couldn’t have Jensen this dependent on him, that wouldn’t help him grow and prepare for the real world. But when Jensen nodded up at him with huge, doe eyes, Jared caved immediately. “Alright, okay. C’mon.”

Jared finally let go of him but followed in his wake, close at his heels. Jared sighed as they entered his room. He rummaged through his drawers for a moment and tossed Jensen a pair of his most cozy pajamas; it seemed like the kid was going to need them. 

Without so much as batting an eye Jensen began to change in front of him, taking off his t-shirt and giving Jared a wholly unexpected view of his smooth chest and slim, boyish hips. Jared swallowed thickly and forced himself to avert his eyes because nope, he was _not_ admiring how taut and gorgeous the kid’s body was. _Nope._. 

When Jared thought it was safe to look up, he took in the now pajama-clad boy in front of him. He stood there, shifting his weight from one ball of his foot to the other. Jared smiled, gesturing for Jensen to go ahead and get under the covers. 

“I’m not gonna sleep just yet. I gotta call Jeff first, and then I’ll be right here, okay?” 

Jensen nodded, climbing into Jared’s bed and practically burying himself in the white blankets until only his head was visible. Jared snorted, shaking his head fondly. “You and your obsession with bed sheets. Alright, I’ll be right back.” 

Jared stepped out, grabbing his cell phone from the kitchen table and dialing Jeff’s number with a swift movement of his fingers. 

“Padalecki? Did he tell you what the hell this drawing is supposed to mean?”

“Yeah,” Jared mumbled into the phone, voice pained. “He was taken when he was nine. That’s what it meant. I think he was kidnapped or something.” 

There was silence on the other end of the line, and Jared could barely make out the scratching of a pencil. “Thank you, Padalecki. I’ll call you if we get a lead.” 

Jared nodded, forgetting that Jeff couldn’t actually see him, and stuttered out a ‘no problem’ before hanging up. He sighed, walking back to his bedroom, and grinned when he saw that Jensen was already fast asleep, cheek pressed against Jared’s favorite pillow. _Cute,_ Jared thought absently as he crawled under the covers. He put as much distance between himself and the sleeping boy as he could, but Jensen wasn’t having it; he scooted over to Jared and wrapped his arms and legs around him like a warm, four-limbed octopus. 

Jared sighed, trying to fight the smile that was threatening to form on his lips. 

His last thought before Jensen’s warmth lulled him to sleep was: _I’m so fucked._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked this super fluffy chapter, lol. More to come soon, please let me know if you liked this one!! <3


	7. Crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!! So sorry to keep you waiting for so long, I came down with a fever and was too sick to even write! That's strange for me, because usually I feel like writing no matter the circumstances. Well, no matter, because I'm feeling better now and was able to finish this chapter today! I'm sorry it couldn't be longer. We finally have some obvious development and a bit of explicit content...you'll see ;) Jensen's birthday is only in a couple weeks.

The next two weeks were the fastest Jared had ever experienced. Somehow, with Jensen by his side, time seemed to speed up. He was happy; he wasn’t alone in his apartment anymore and he was never bored. On top of Jensen being a spectacular listener, he also provided Jared with a constant challenge. Every subtle attempt at communication was progress, and every breakdown was a regression. By now, Jared had become a pro at calming Jensen down. Oddly enough, though, physical contact seemed to be the most efficient way to bring him back to reality. Despite Jensen’s obvious craving for human contact, Jared was still startled almost every time the boy reached out to him. Everything else about Jensen was consistent with the first few days of their time together; he had severe social anxiety, panic attacks, dissociation, and was in a constant state of fear. But this? It didn’t make sense with Jensen’s profile, didn’t match up with all of the observations Jared had made. He still refused to touch any other living thing, which Jared perceived as a problem. Jensen was becoming codependent on him, and Jared feared that this would serve as a roadblock when it came to learning to interact with others. When Jared had called his boss about the issue, however, Jeff brushed him off: “This is a good thing, Padalecki. He’ll give us more information if he feels close to you. If you want us to find out who did this, just go with it and don’t let it escalate.” 

Currently, Jared was stretched out on the couch while Jensen fiddled around with dishes in the kitchen. The kid had a knack for housework, and no matter how many times Jared insisted that he didn’t need to help out, Jensen went ahead and did it anyway. 

“Jen, you really don’t have to do that, you know!” Jared called to him for the millionth time. The only response he got was the continued clinking of pots and pans. Jared laughed, warmth blooming in his chest. “Hey, Jensen, when you’re done do you mind coming out here? I wanted to ask you something.” 

The clanging came to an abrupt halt and then Jensen was scurrying over to the living room. Jared shook his head and sighed; if he gave Jensen any sort of command he became scarily obedient, almost as though he had been trained. 

“You’re okay, Jensen. I just had a quick question.” 

Jensen visibly relaxed, perfect posture falling into something more natural. Jared wondered sadly when he’d learn that Jared wasn’t someone to be afraid of. Ever. “Your birthday is in less than a month,” He began with a bright smile. “How do you want to celebrate? Just me and you? I’d invite Jeff or my good friend Chad but I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. What do you think?”

Jensen stood there for a moment and then seemed to sway on his feet. His eyes suddenly welled up and Jared drew in a sharp breath; Jensen hadn’t cried since the first few nights of his stay. Even his breakdowns had been without tears; just small whimpers and sighs. At the sight, Jared instinctively jumped off of the couch and approached him, brow furrowed with concern. “What’s the matter? If you don’t want to celebrate that’s totally fine, I just thought that since eighteen is a pretty big year, you know, that--”

And then Jensen threw his arms around Jared, hugging him tightly. For a moment, Jared was stiff from surprise; however he soon relaxed into the embrace and wrapped his arms around Jensen's slim waist, pulling him closer. “Thanks for the hug, Jen,” Jared said with a sad smile. “Is it because you've never had your birthday celebrated before?” 

Jensen said nothing, only squeezing him harder. It was such an innocent gesture, so pure and platonic, that Jared felt a bitter pang of guilt wash over him when he shuddered at the sharpness of Jensen’s hip bones and the scent of his skin. 

 

~

A few hours later, just after the sun had set, Jared had left Jensen on his own to go shower. Sighing as the warm water against his skin, Jared decided to allow himself the privilege of getting off (this was probably the only downside about having another person with him constantly, he never had time to do...well, this. As he wrapped his hand around himself, groaning at the sensation, he tried to picture his usual fantasies instead of the very _wrong_ images his brain was threatening to produce. These did the trick until Jared came; only then did an electric image of bright green eyes flash before his mind. 

Jared's head hit the wall and he let out a breath he'd been holding. The hole inside of him that was self loathing seemed to have grown to twice the size that it already was. 

After using his shower for its actual intended purpose, Jared stepped out and towel-dried his ridiculously long hair. He thought absently of how long Jensen's was getting, too; perhaps he'd take them both to get a haircut. After shaving, he walked out of the bathroom in his towel, steam billowing out from behind him, only to see Jensen standing directly in front of him, wide-eyed. Jensen immediately flushed bright red, clapping a hand over his mouth, and Jared laughed, shaking the water out of his hair. 

“No worries, kiddo. I’m not shy.” 

Jensen simply stood there, paralyzed, getting redder and redder by the second. Jared rose an eyebrow when Jensen’s gaze flitted across various areas of his exposed body, hands tightening around his mouth.

“Jensen? You okay?” Jared asked, concerned. Jensen simply nodded, eyes fixated on Jared’s chest, and reached out a trembling hand.  
“Jensen…?” Jared asked, voice cracking when Jensen's hand met the skin of his bare chest. _No, no, no. Bad Jared. Bad._ Jared, trying to ignore the slick feeling of skin against skin, placed a comforting hand on Jensen's small shoulder. “What’s going on? Is something the matter?" 

Jensen was still for a moment, breaths unusually quick, practically squeaked at the contact and bolted out of the room. Jared, shell-shocked and confused, simply stood there. Jensen hadn’t reacted so strongly to physical contact since his very first few days at Jared’s. But this time it was different. Jensen’s eyes weren't fearful, or upset, just…

Jared’s heart skipped a beat at the realization. Oh, _fuck. No, that absolutely cannot be it._. 

~

Jensen's behavior shifted dramatically after that iincident. The sudden physical contact he'd been initiating stopped as fast as it had come; he'd flit around Jared like a scared animal just as he had on their first day together. However, something in Jensen's gaze was off. No matter how quick he was to run away, Jared never saw fear in his eyes. It was almost like Jensen was just shy, or embarrassed, or just plain awkward. If Jared didn't know better…

After the fourth time Jared tried to touch Jensen and was swiftly rejected (Jensen practically sprinted into the other room, high cheekbones glowing pink), he decided to give Chad a call. His best friend answered after the first ring with a: 

“Where the fuck have you been?! You haven't been to work in months! Haven't you gotten any of my texts, man?” Chad sounded genuinely concerned, voice strained with worry, and Jared laughed stiffly. 

“I told you, remember? I have a teenager to take care of. Sorry, uh, about not replying. I've been busy.” 

Chad groaned and Jared could picture him shaking his head in dismay. “Oh yeah. I forgot that you're a foster mommy now. Glad you're alive at least. How's everything going?” 

“Uh, has Boss told you anything at all?” 

“No,” Chad said bitterly. “When does that bastard ever give me the time of day?” 

“True,” Jared grinned as he watched Jensen from the corner of his eye. He was pulling Jared's books from the shelf and putting them back in impeccably neat rows. “It's great. I mean, he's doing great. Uh, until recently.”

“What do you mean, until recently?” 

“He's...Been acting weird. I should know why, I've been right almost every time up until now. That's why they gave me the job. But this, I'm not sure.” 

“.... So you're calling _me_? Jared Padalecki, top officer and the boss’ favorite, is asking me for advice?”

“...Yes?” 

Chad sighed and shifted the phone. Jared grimaced at the loud rustling his movements produced. “Alright, whatever, I'll try. I'm still pissed at you for not texting me back, though,” before Jared could apologize again, he continued: “How's he acting weird? How's it different from before?” 

“Well, before he...In the first few days he refused to be touched or have any sort of human contact. Then all of a sudden he just started...Initiating it. Completely changed in that sense. Up until a few days ago he's been clinging to me every time he gets the chance.” 

“Huh. Weird. And he’s stopped now?” 

“Yeah,” Jared cleared his throat, cheeks heating up as he eyed Jensen yet again. He was clearly deep in thought, so Jensen lowered his voice and began to explain. “Right after I came out of the shower without a shirt on. He just...Bolted. Hasn't been the same since--”

Chad's ear-piercing laughter interrupted Jared’s speech. “Oh my fucking God, Jare, this is the best thing I've heard all week.” 

“What?!” Jared snapped, suddenly pissed off. “What's funny about this?” 

“Dude,” Chad drew in a shaky breath. “He has a fucking crush on you, you idiot. This is great, holy shit…” Chad trailed off, laughter starting up again. 

“What?! Of course he doesn't, Chad, he's just a kid who's been badly abused and he's latching onto me because--”

“Because he's an almost eighteen-year-old boy and you're hot. I'm straight and even I can see how much of a hunk you are. Frankly, Jare, I’d go gay for you.” 

Jared couldn’t help but crack a grin at his friend’s statement. “I know. I remember when you got shitfaced last New Years and gave me a kiss. Really romantic, Chad.”

“Fuck off,” Chad said, trying and failing to keep the laughter out of his voice. “So. When can I meet this kid?” 

Jared was bewildered. “Come meet--What?! We haven’t even finished our conversation! I think you’re wrong, you know, about what you said. That’s...it couldn’t be,” He mumbled awkwardly, wringing his hands together.

“Yeah?” Chad’s amusement was still apparent in his light tone. “And why do you say that?”

“Because it’s--Shit man, gotta go. He wants to show me something.” 

Jensen had found a dusty novel somewhere and was holding it out to Jared with wide eyes. The sight made his heart lurch. 

“Alright, but prepare yourself ‘cuz I’ll be over in two hours.” 

“Wait, Chad, you can’t just--”

Jared was cut off by the obnoxious beeping of a disconnected call. “Asshole,” Jared mumbled under his breath as he turned towards a very oblivious Jensen. 

“Wasn’t saying that to you. I was talking to my friend Chad. Love the guy, but he sure gets on my nerves sometimes,” Jared said with a grin. “What did you find?” 

Jensen blew off the dust and held it out to Jared, whose eyes widened when he read the cover. It was an old book of Edgar Allan Poe’s stories, one that Jared hadn’t seen since he was a little boy. It had been his grandmother’s; she’d read it to him during stormy nights, when Jared’s parents were too busy working to come home. 

“Jensen! You found my grandma’s book! I was wondering what happened to that!” 

Jensen, obviously pleased by Jared’s reaction, smiled hugely. He pushed it into Jared’s chest, smile never faltering as he did so. 

“Thanks, Jen, seriously. And thank you for organizing my collection. My house hasn’t been this clean since...well, ever,” Jared beamed back, ruffling Jensen’s feathery hair. “Do you want me to read it to you? I know you can read it yourself, but it’s what she used to do for me. I know you’re practically an adult but--”

Jensen nodded and plopped down on the couch before Jard could finish his spiel. _Damn,_ Jared thought with an almost painful pang of fondness. _I love this kid._

Soon, Jared was lost in the story. So lost, in fact, that Jared almost missed when Jensen laid his head on his lap, staring up at him with mystified, starry eyes. Jared only looked down when he felt Jensen’s tight grip on the hem of his shirt. His breath caught, sentence dying in his throat, as he took in Jensen’s almost inhuman beauty. 

When Chad rang the doorbell, both Jared and Jensen practically jumped off the couch in alarm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and as always, please comment if you enjoyed it! I love you!!!!!  
> If you like the story, PLEASE check out the special Spotify playlist I'm making for it! Here's the link:   
> https://play.spotify.com/user/hermione555/playlist/22EhtZcRFyZBpMyk4naPI9  
> AND I would die from happiness if you can think of any songs to add. ANY genre, any type of music, just something that reminds you of their relationship in this fic!  
> I LOVE YOU GUYS!   
> -femmefatales


	8. Dandelion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry it took me a while to update. this was a pretty intense chapter to write. I hope you guys enjoy it!

Jensen froze, sitting up rigidly, when Chad rang Jared’s doorbell about twenty more times.

“I’m coming, I’m coming, so stop it!” Jared bellowed, reaching out to squeeze a cowering Jensen’s hand. His gut twisted when Jensen yanked his hand away immediately. “S’Okay, he’s just a loud guy. He’s kind, he won’t hurt you. He’s just...silly.” 

Jensen still looked afraid and unsure, but his death grip on own thumb seemed to lessen somewhat. When it seemed safe, Jared opened the door slowly and tentatively, and then he was suddenly engulfed in a bear hug. 

“Missed ya, buddy!” Chad finally let Jared go, grinning from ear to ear. “Jesus, Rapunzel, look at your fucking hair!” 

“Shut up, Chad, at least I don't look like a skinhead. This is Jensen.” 

Chad looked behind Jared and his eyes widened to the size of saucers. “Holy shit, he’s gorgeous! You didn’t tell me he was such a pretty boy!” 

Jensen blushed bright red, and Jared almost missed a hint of a smile on his full lips.

“I’m Chad. Good to meet you, Jensen,” Chad held out a large hand, but Jensen did nothing. Chad seemed unfazed, hand falling down immediately and slapping against his thigh. “Can I call you Jenny?” 

Jared rolled his eyes. “Of course you can’t call him that. He’s not a girl.” 

Jensen, although stiff as a board, seemed fascinated by Jared and Chad’s interactions. His eyes were flashing back and forth between the two of them, taking everything in. 

“So, Jensen” Chad began, sauntering over to Jared’s fridge and pulling out a beer. “Jared tells me you’re pretty cool.” 

Jensen’s smile was electric; so much so that Jared almost tripped over his own feet. He pointed to Jensen and then gave a thumbs up, which had Chad barking out a laugh. “You think he’s cool too, huh? I disagree. He’s a loser.” 

When Jensen scowled, Chad threw up his hands in mock surrender. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I love this guy,” He clapped Jared on the back while taking a deep swig of beer. “Been my best friend since our freshman year of high school. We decided to be cops together, you know. You could say we’re badasses. Jare and Chad, the dynamic duo!” 

Jensen was staring at Chad intently, listening to his every word, and for some reason Jared felt a flicker of something hot and unpleasantly possessive. 

“Are you just gonna stand around or do you want to sit with me and Jen? We were reading Edgar Allan Poe before you showed up.” 

Chad raised his eyebrows, looking at Jared strangely. “Hmm, alright, I’ll sit with you guys. But I’d rather shoot myself in the head than listen to Poe, so I’m hoping you have something more entertaining in mind.”

Jared couldn’t help but laugh at the sheer disgust in his best friend’s voice. He’d absolutely loathed English and any reading-related subjects in school, and he’d never changed in that regard. “We like Star Trek, right Jen?” 

Jensen nodded eagerly, eyes lighting up at the idea. 

~

After four episodes of Kirk and Spock’s undeniable sexual tension (Chad made about fifty snide comments on the subject), Jensen had fallen asleep, head lolling on Jared’s shoulder. It was the first time Jensen had touched him in four days, and Jared would have been lying if he’d said that his stomach wasn’t doing flip-flops. 

“Sickening,” Chad grumbled, crossing his arms. “Sickeningly adorable,” Chad lowered his voice until it was almost inaudible. “You have feelings for him, don’t you?” 

White hot panic shot through Jared at the mere suggestion. “Wh-No! Of course not, he’s seventeen, he’s been through so much, I wouldn’t--”

Chad groaned, throwing his his head back against the couch. Jensen sighed, shifting slightly. “Oh, spare me. It’s obvious. I know it’s fucked up, but I still love you.”  
Jared flushed, ears burning, and he suddenly was unable to form words. “I..I won’t admit to anything, until he’s eighteen.” 

Chad scoffed, shaking his head and standing up. “I’d better get home. Promised my girl I’d cook dinner.” 

“Who is she this time?” Jared asked, sighing in relief when the subject shifted. 

“Hey! It sounds like you’re implying that there’s been others before her!” 

“Uh, because there has. Like twenty of them.”

“I’m telling you man, she’s the one,” Chad said as he grabbed his sweater off of the armrest.”You can be my best man.”

“Wow. Lucky me.” 

“Fuck you,” Chad said without a hint of malice. He opened the door and nodded his chin in the direction of Jensen, who was snoring softly. “Y’Know, I think you’re the best person possible for him.”

Before Jared could stammer out a reply, Chad had slammed the door and left. 

~

Because Jensen was still fast asleep on the couch, Jared was (unfortunately) left alone with his thoughts. And he hated it, hated it more than anything because _fuck_ , Chad was right. Jared couldn’t help but feel like a creep. Yeah, they were only ten years apart, but ten years was a long time. Not to mention, Jensen had been mistreated for countless years of his life; was he even mentally fit to consent? Objectively, Jared knew that he was, but he still couldn’t bite back the rancorous guilt. 

Jared was eternally grateful when his phone vibrated and lit up in his hands. It was Jeff, which was odd for this time of night, so Jared answered without hesitation.

“Hello?”

“Padalecki. We have a lead. We’ve found a very likely suspect.”

“Holy shit,” Jared breathed. “You did?”

“Yes. Her name is Samantha Lehmann. She’s fifty-four. She escaped from a mental ward a few miles from where we found Jensen about ten years back,” Jeff said, tone grave. Jared could hear him shuffling papers. “She has the dark hair, like Jensen drew. He was taken when he was nine. It adds up.” 

Jared’s brow furrowed in confusion; why did Jeff sound so sure? “How do you know she’s who did this?”

“I was getting to that. Do you why she was in that asylum in the first place, Padalecki?” 

“Uh. No.”

“She had battered woman syndrome, apparently. Killed her eight year old son. Beat him to death. She pleaded insane.”

Jared’s stomach churned. “Jesus.” 

“We found her picture in her medical records. I need you to show it to Jensen and see how he reacts.” 

Jared felt queasy at the mere prospect of doing that. If Jeff was right and this woman was the culprit, it would no doubt trigger a serious breakdown. “Boss, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Jared. Do you want to put this monster behind bars? For the rest of her life? Remember what Jensen looked like when we first met him, Jared. How beaten up he was.”

Jared swallowed, throat suddenly tight. “I...okay. I’ll do it, I’ll show him. But I have to wait for the right time. Text it to me.”

Jared hung up the phone without a goodbye, suddenly painfully anxious. Jensen was doing so well, aside from the recent setbacks.

As he looked over the boy (well, man. Almost.) Jared came to a solid decision. Tonight was not the night to show him the picture. 

~

After hours of hopeless tossing and turning, Jared decided that sleep just wasn't going to come. The sun was starting to rise and the birds were beginning to chirp obnoxiously on his patio. Jared thought absently that Jensen would wake up anytime now. Knowing that was stupidly comforting, like a warm blanket around his shoulders. 

He made himself a cup of coffee, grumbling when he stubbed his toe on the bottom of his cabinet. Jensen startled awake at this, sitting up on the couch at the speed of light. 

“Sorry, Jensen!” Jared said, hobbling over to him. “So sorry to wake you, I'm too damn clumsy in the mornings.” 

Jensen gave Jared a sleepy smile and smoothed out his bedhead. God, was that a sight for sore eyes. 

“Hey,” Jared began, eyes flitting to where Jensen's T-shirt had ridden up. “I have something fun for us to do today.” 

Jensen cocked his head to the side, as if in an inquiry. 

“The park! We can make a picnic and eat on the grass. It's Tuesday, so there probably won't be anyone there. It's better than being cooped up inside all day, right?” Jared hoped that the fear in his voice wasn’t evident. His plan was simple: take Jensen somewhere calm, serene, and put him in the best mood possible before possibly decimating every ounce of progress they had made. 

Jensen didn’t seem to notice the waver in Jared’s voice; he simply grinned up at him, all innocence and naivety.

“Glad you like that idea,” Jared mumbled. He noticed Jensen’s eyes flicker to his where his hand lay against his thigh,and for a blissfully hopeful moment Jared thought he might reach out and grab it. But he didn’t. “I’ll start on the sandwiches. You can add whatever you want, as long as it’s in my fridge.” 

~  
They listened to their favorite alternative station on the drive to the park. Once they arrived, Jensen was a mess (just as Jared had expected). He jumped at every bird call, every dog bark, but once the two of them found a quiet, shady spot, all was well. Jared spread out his plaid blanket and shook off some remains of grass from last year’s camping trip with Sandy. He lay down, gesturing for Jensen to do the same. He took Jared’s offer, slowly descending onto the ground below. 

The sun was shining in Jensen’s eyes, and Jared had the ridiculous thought that they were even greener than the grass beneath them. His white t-shirt had ridden up slightly, _again_ , and Jared’s gaze seemed to be stuck on Jensen’s soft skin for a few moments. 

When a butterfly chose to use Jensen’s sculpted nose as its personal bench, Jared had to pull out his phone and snap a picture. Jensen giggled, going cross-eyed as he tried to catch a better glimpse at the white, winged creature on his face. 

“It likes you, Jen,” Jared said with a grin, capturing as many photographs as he could. “But then again, who wouldn’t?” 

Jensen colored at the compliment as the butterfly flew away, leaving the two of them alone in the perfect spring weather. 

“Thank you for coming here with me. I really enjoy hanging out with you, you know,” Jared said lightly as he plucked his sandwich from the cooler he’d brought along. 

Jensen was smiling hugely. Jared had never seen anything more beautiful in his entire life. And then Jensen was pointing at something in the distance. 

“What is it? Do you see something interesting?” 

Jensen continued pointing, with more fervor this time, but Jared could only see grass stretching for miles ahead. “I’m sorry, Jensen, I just see a whole lot of grass.”

Jared snorted when Jensen rolled his eyes and stood up. He loved seeing that side of him. Jared was shocked when Jensen ran a few yards closer to the horizon, a few yards farther from him, and pulled something out of the ground. 

Jensen came sauntering back, more fearless than Jared had ever seen him. In his hands was a huge dandelion, round and flawless. 

“Wow, Jensen, that’s amazing! Do you like dandelions?” 

Jensen nodded and held it up to the sun, running his fingers across its seeds impossibly gently. 

“Do you know what you’re supposed to do with them?” Jared asked. Jensen looked back at him, puzzled. 

“Well, you’re supposed to make a wish and then blow the seeds away. If all of them fly off in one breath, then your wish will come true. Or so people say.” 

Jensen’s eyes closed and he scrunched up his nose as he followed Jared’s orders almost immediately. He blew the seeds away with grace, a gentleness so specific to who he was. 

 

He was a fucking vision. 

~

Jensen was on top of the world when they got home, and it absolutely killed Jared inside to know that he was about to cause a complete mood change. Jensen stood beside him, waiting for some kind of command or order (it had been a challenge since day one to get Jensen to do something of his own accord). _I guess it’s now or never._. 

“Jen. I need to show you something really important. I don't want to because I know how much it'll hurt you, how...How hard it'll be for you, but I have to…” Jared trailed off, voice suddenly hoarse. God, he hated this. Jensen was staring at him intently, perhaps in an attempt to ease Jared's fears. 

“No, Jensen, I'm serious. This is going to be hard for you. On you. But I need you to listen, okay? You’re safe here, with me.” 

Jensen nodded, and with shaking hands Jared felt around his pockets for his cell phone. He pulled up the picture, and repressed the urge to place a comforting hand on Jensen’s shoulder like he’d done so many times before. 

“I’m sorry I have to do this, Jensen. I’m right here.” 

Jensen nodded, completely oblivious as to what he was about to see. Jared sighed and shook his head, wishing more than anything that he could break his phone in half and protect Jensen for the rest of his days. 

But he couldn’t, because that wasn’t the real world. He couldn’t, because this woman had to pay for what she had done. 

Jared held his phone up and showed Jensen the picture. 

Almost immediately, the younger man’s chest began to rise and fall at an increasingly fast rate. He dropped the book he’d been holding as an entire tremor shook his thin frame. It’d been weeks since Jared had seen that look in his eyes, that completely vacant and empty stare. 

“Jensen. It’s her, isn’t it? She’s the one who did this?” 

Jensen’s only response was a glassy-eyed stare. _That’s a yes,_ Jared thought morosely. 

“You did so good, Jensen. That’s all I needed to know. I’m putting it away now, see?” Jared tucked the phone back into his pocket, slowly but surely. His heart sunk when Jensen’s eyes didn’t follow the movement. He was disassociating; Jensen was somewhere far away. 

Jared took a cautious step forward, reaching out his left hand. “Jensen. I’m here. It’s me, Jared.” 

Jared feared that Jensen would continue to be unresponsive until he swayed on his feet. Jared lunged forward in an attempt to break his fall. He succeeded, and the two of them toppled onto the wood floor. Jared hissed at the impact (his elbow was probably going to be badly bruised tomorrow morning) but sighed in relief when he realized that Jensen was in his arms, still and sound. Jared pet his hair like he had done during previous breakdowns. Jensen’s crying began with small sniffles into Jared’s shoulder, only to escalate into full out sobs. He sounded like a wounded animal, whimpering and digging his nails into Jared’s t-shirt. “I’ve got you,” Jared cooed, rubbing large hands down his back. “I caught you, and you’re okay. I promise.”

This seemed to calm Jensen down a bit. As the minutes passed his sobs began to subside and his body loosened up until he felt like a ragdoll in Jared’s arms. 

“It’s late, Jen. What do you say we go to bed? You can sleep with me tonight, how’s that?” Jared invited warmly. Jensen hadn’t slept in his bed since the bathroom incident, but judging by Jensen’s eager nod his previous hesitations were no longer in the picture. “Great. You’re a tall guy, but I think I can carry you.” 

Before Jensen could respond, Jared swung a hand under his upper thighs and supported his back with his other arm. He grunted as he stood up, but once he began walking he was surprised to find that Jensen was surprisingly light. The boy was nuzzling into Jared’s neck like a happy kitten, and all Jared could think to himself was: _Thank God_. 

He set Jensen down onto the bed gently, not bothering to ask him to change. He pulled up the covers and made sure that Jensen looked comfortable. Almost immediately, Jensen’s eyes fluttered closed and he let out a long, peaceful sigh. 

Jared got under the covers with him, smiling stupidly when Jensen wrapped his arms around his torso. 

“Are you feeling better now?” 

Jensen didn’t reply; he just held onto Jared tighter. Jared wrapped his arms around him in return, heart swelling with an absurd amount of affection that was most definitely not of a platonic nature. 

“I’m glad.” 

They lay there in silence, wrapped up in each other’s embrace, until Jared heard something unthinkable. 

“Jared.”

It was Jensen’s voice. Soft and deep, hoarse from lack of use. Jensen's voice. Jensen’s voice, saying his name. 

Jared froze, large hands tightening on Jensen’s thin waist. He couldn’t form words for a moment, mouth opening uselessly, because _holy fuck_. 

“You…” Jared began, voice cracking as sudden unshed tears clouded his vision. “You said my name. Y-You talked.” 

Jensen was staring up at him like he was the stars, like he was something beautiful, like he was all that mattered. “God…” Jared murmured, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. “Jensen. Thank you. I’m so...proud of you.”

The stare continued until Jared began to color under Jensen’s gaze. 

“Love you, Jared.” Jensen’s voice was a song. Jared had never heard anything so raw, so beautiful. _Jesus_ , he couldn’t believe this was happening. 

“I can't believe you're--holy shit...Me too. I love you too, Jen.” 

Once Jensen fell asleep against his chest, Jared really did cry. He cried for the life Jensen could have had, for the battered boy he’d met almost two months ago. He cried for his own fucked up feelings, for his own infatuation, until he fell into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for all the angst ;__; But Jensen finally spoke!!!! I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, please comment if you did! <3  
> Love, femmefatales


	9. Gifts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!! Graphic depictions of past physical/mental abuse are in this chapter. If that's something you're sensitive to, please back out now! Sending you all my love, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Sorry it's unusually short, and I apologize for the slow update. College stuff has me swamped with work.

THREE YEARS AGO: 

Mother loomed down at Jensen, dark frizzy hair a rat’s nest on her head. Her mascara had mingled with deranged tears and left black trails on her porcelain cheeks. 

“Emmett, my beautiful boy,” She cooed, placing a grimy hand on his cheek. “Your hair is getting long, I’ll have to cut it soon.”

Jensen swallowed, hands shaking as he clenched them at his sides. He was starving; it’d been days since Mother had last given him anything to eat. But he’d learned the hard way not to ask for anything. Ever.

“Is my baby hungry?” She cooed, voice thick with false sweetness. 

Jensen nodded. His reply was followed by a cold slap to his face; nothing unusual. He stared at her dumbly with dead eyes as his cheek stung. 

“How many times do I have to tell you, Emmett?! You don’t answer Mommy unless she gives you permission,” All traces of kindness in her tone had left as quickly as they had come. “Now, I’m giving you permission. Are you hungry?”

Jensen nodded, slower this time, and Mother kicked him in the chest. He crumpled to the ground with a pathetic whimper. What had he done wrong? He thought he’d been following the rules. 

“You greedy little…” She said, barring her crooked, yellowing teeth. “Greedy boys don’t get to eat, you know that.” 

Jensen stayed on the floor but sat up, crossing his legs awkwardly in an attempt to sooth the pain in his rib cage. 

“Go to your room, Emmett, and think about why it’s wrong to be greedy.” 

Jensen’s eyes widened and he folded in on himself, using every ounce of self restraint he had to keep from crying. If he were to cry, he’d be locked in his ‘room’ longer and wouldn't be allowed to use the restroom. And if he made a sound, he'd be kicked again. 

“Stand up and go.” 

Jensen did as told, wobbly as he got to his feet. His eyes stung, and he walked with the ever-present limp that often came from his constant beatings. He made his way over to the closet in the corner of Mother’s dingy basement and sat down in the middle of the floor, shuddering at the unforgiving chill of the tile.

Mother walked over to him, and her left shoe dragged against the carpet (the heel was broken off). She grinned down at him, eyes alight with a sinister darkness, and slammed the door in his face. 

This was Jensen’s least favorite punishment. He would have preferred for mother to hurt him again, to call him names, or anything else. He hated being locked in his ‘room’. It was nothing more than four square feet of cold tile and rusted coat hangers. The walls constantly seemed to be closing in on him.

At times like these, Jensen’s mind tended to drift. He’d remember the days before mother, when he’d lived with his real parents. He remembered their trips to the market, his father’s rumbling voice, his mother’s gentle touch. His bedroom hadn’t been large, but it’d been comfortable; his walls were covered with pictures of sports stars. Jensen had quite the trophy collection; he’d won multiple awards in his third grade class for reading, and he’d acquired a few from his flag football team. 

It was his fault that he’d been taken away from all of that, he knew this; but he still yearned to be back home. 

He wished she’d stop calling him Emmett. Jensen remembered the first time he had tried to correct her, back when she’d first taken him after his ninth birthday. She’d tied him to a bedpost and kicked him until he passed out. Later that week, she had burned the name “Emmett” onto his chest.

Jensen really, _really_ wished she would stop calling him that. 

~

PRESENT: 

Jensen hadn’t spoken since that night, but Jared didn’t mind. He had the memory, the bright and beautiful memory of Jensen’s voice to keep him going on difficult days. 

Jensen's birthday came fast. Jared pulled an all-nighter creating the most cheesy, two person party he could, complete with streamers and gifts. If anyone deserved a stupid, over the top birthday celebration it was Jensen. Jared had also written him a card containing all the words he didn't have enough balls to say to Jensen's face. 

_Jensen. I think you're an extraordinary guy, I really do. You've come so far. You know why? Because you're strong. And intelligent. And the kindest person I've ever had the privilege of knowing. Happy birthday Jen._  
_Love,_  
_Jared_

Jared read over the card about twenty thousand times before placing it in one of the gift bags he'd prepared. He knew very well that Jensen cared little for material items, and when he summoned Chad to go buy presents for him (Jared would have done it himself, but he didn’t feel right about leaving Jensen alone) there was one thing he was sure of: Jensen liked soft things. So, he’d asked Chad to purchase him a silky bathrobe, fuzzy slippers, and the softest blanket in the entirety of Target. His friend had begrudgingly dropped them off a little after midnight the night before, grumbling about how Jared owed him yet another drink.

Jared jiggled his foot as he waited at the kitchen table. He jumped a mile when his phone buzzed, and something inside of him sank when he saw who was calling him. Jeff. 

“Hey, boss,” Jared said morosely. 

“Is this a bad time, Padalecki?” Jeff asked, voice gruff as usual. 

“Kind of, yeah. It’s Jensen’s birthday today and I’m just waiting for him to wake up so we can celebrate.” 

“I’ll make this quick. Long story short: we found her.” 

Jared was speechless for a moment. “Oh, shit. Already? Wh--how?!” 

“Tracked her shitty cell phone, a Motorola from 2006, and found her living in an empty foreclosed trailer home. The place was in bad shape, but we found evidence of Jensen’s DNA all over.” 

Jared's chest constricted in dread. “Fuck.” Just as he was about to ask more questions, he heard the pitter-patter of familiar footsteps. “Look, Jeff, I gotta go. I’ll call you back tonight.” He jammed his big finger on the End Call button and looked up. 

 

It was exactly a minute after 6 am. Jensen was walking towards Jared slowly. He rubbed his beautiful eyes sleepily, and Jared’s heart ached fondly at the sight. God, he was absolutely smitten. 

“Jensen!” Jared sprang to his feet (he was peppy already thanks to his conscious decision to prepare his coffee as soon as he woke up) and bounded over to a now wide-eyed Jensen. “Happy birthday!”

Jensen was still for a moment, staring at Jared in confusion, and then something seemed to click. His eyes flitted around the room, taking in the tacky silver streamers and glittery balloons. He was still, a marble sculpture, and then he walked towards the decorations slowly, almost afraid. Jensen began running his hands across each and every one of them, taking in the details of each individual, cheap party adornments Jared had stored away from years of office parties.  
“Do you like them?” Jared asked with a grin. 

Jensen nodded dumbly and turned back towards Jared. He signed ‘thank you’ and Jared noticed that his bright cheeks were wet. The kids gratitude was heartbreaking, as it always was; but Jared was determined not to let his empathy ruin the fun. 

“You’re welcome, Jen. You deserve this. So, I know it’s early, but do you want to open your presents now?” Jared flushed, leading Jensen over to the table and sitting down. He twiddled his thumbs awkwardly, like a teenager on his first date. “They’re nothing special, but I know you’re not picky. I thought you’d like them--”

Jared was mid-sentence when Jensen kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy!! It happened! Please comment if you enjoyed this chapter, I love you guys! Smut in next chapter ;)  
> HEY GUYS!! PLEASE CHECKOUT THE SPOTIFY PLAYLIST I CREATED FOR THIS STORY! 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/hermione555/playlist/22EhtZcRFyZBpMyk4naPI9
> 
> It's collaborative, so PLEASE add any songs you like that remind you of the story!!


	10. Depart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again, beautiful readers!! I am so sorry in advance for the emotional rollercoaster I'm about to put you on. This chapter was so tough for me to write, I choked up writing it a few times. I love you! Happy reading!

Jensen’s lips were impossibly soft and plush, and he tasted like mint toothpaste and something sweet. Jared’s breath caught in his throat and his brain felt disconnected from his because there was absolutely _no way that Jensen was kissing him right now._ A small moan of surprise escaped from his lips before he could stop it, but milliseconds after his body processed what was happening he shoved Jensen off with a gentle movement of his hands. 

When Jared looked up at Jensen, he was shocked to be met with a face of utter confusion. Jensen stared down at him, blinking quickly, and then his face turned pink at the speed of light. He slapped a hand over his mouth bolted to his bedroom.

Jared heard the door slam shut before he could even utter a sound. 

He sat there for a moment, almost numb, because _what had just happened?_ He stared at the unopened presents and cards on the table, willing himself to get up and call out for Jensen. Had Chad been right? About the crush thing?

Jared hated the wave of bliss that overcame him at the thought. Because, no. Jensen, eighteen or not, was still just a kid. Any good psychologist would come to the conclusion that Jensen was merely clinging to the first person who genuinely cared about his wellbeing, latching on to someone who actually treated him like another human being for the first time in years. 

But _fuck_ , his lips were soft. 

Jared facepalmed and sucked in a breath. First and foremost, before anything else, he had to make sure that Jensen was okay. He walked quietly over to his bedroom door and knocked softly, trying to keep the tremor out of his voice. 

“Jen. Hey. Can I come in?” 

Nothing. Of course not. 

“I’m not mad at you, I promise. We just need to talk.” 

At first Jared thought that Jensen would ignore him again, and he raised his fist to knock harder. But then he heard quiet footfalls and was greeted by a very red, teary Jensen. Jared’s heart hurt for more reasons than one. 

“Don’t look so sad, Jen, it’s your birthday!” Jared said, smiling as genuinely as he possibly could. “We’re still gonna have a great day together.” 

Jensen swallowed, refusing to look Jared in the eye as he had done so many times before. 

“Can I come in?” Jared asked cautiously. Jensen stepped aside in an act of silent permission and Jared entered his room, which he’d been keeping freakishly tidy since the moment he’d first walked through the door. He took a seat on Jensen’s bed but the younger boy continued to stand, posture closed and small. 

“Jensen. I think...I think you might be confused about some things, and that’s okay. I understand.” 

Jensen wiped one of his tears away with the back of his wrist, eyes darting around the room in hopes of escape. 

“You...you know that people kiss each other like that if they’re...only if they’re...you know, together. Romantically.” 

Jared was stunned into silence when Jensen nodded, hard, and stood up a bit straighter. Huh. 

“A-Alright,” Jared mumbled, rubbing his sweaty palms on his jeans. “Sorry, I just wanted to make sure you knew. I just...I don’t think what you’re feeling is romantic attraction. I'm...I’m someone who takes care of you, so I think you’re confused.” 

Jensen chewed on his bottom lip and shook his head, softer this time. _Shit_. 

“You’re not confused? Jensen, I don’t think it’s possible for you to like me in that way.” 

Jensen did nothing to indicate that he’d even heard Jared; he just stared above him at the headboard. Jared was about to speak again, only to be stopped dead for the second time that week. 

“I do. Love you. Jared.” 

Jared felt as if the wind had gotten knocked out of him. “Oh. Uh. Wow.” Jensen’s voice was alluring; it’s depth shocked Jared once again.

Jensen’s face reddened again at Jared’s stupid response, and in fear of him running away, Jared motioned for him to come sit down beside him. He did as told, albeit slowly; Jared tried to ignore the sudden rush he felt at Jensen’s closeness. “I need you to understand that there’s nothing wrong with the way you feel, i-it’s okay, it’s not like you can help it. But on my end, it’d be wrong to...encourage it.” 

Jensen looked at him, blinking in confusion. 

“Well, Jen, I’m way older than you. And I’m supposed to be taking care of you, not...you know. It wouldn’t be right. I’d be taking advantage of you.” 

Jensen’s face scrunched up into something akin to frustration. He shook his head ‘no’, gaze hard and determined. 

“You...disagree?” Jared asked dumbly. This had to be a dream. Jensen nodded and crossed his arms. 

“Yes. I disagree.” 

Holy shit. A complete sentence. 

“Jen, you’re talking again!” Jared smiled, unable to keep himself from lightning up at Jensen’s voice despite the awkwardness of the situation. “That’s great!”

Jensen, usually shy and bashful when it came to compliments, held his head up high. Jared was struck by how incredible this was, how incredible _he_ was. He’d come so far in just a few months. But before Jared could continue to praise him, Jensen spoke again:  
“You too?”

Jared’s brain seemed to be lagging. Him too? What was Jensen…? _Oh_.

“Are you asking if I...feel the same?” 

Jensen nodded, fear creeping back into his features. Fuck, Jared thought. What the hell was he supposed to say? Jensen deserved honesty, he knew this; but what consequences would come from telling him the truth? 

“Shit. I can’t...I can’t believe I’m saying this. Yes. I do. But that doesn’t make it okay.” 

Jensen’s plush lips opened just slightly and his blush creeped down to his neck, under his shirt, and Jared lost his train of thought. Jensen covered his mouth with his hand again and obviously looked Jared up and down. 

The two sat in an increasingly tense silence for a moment as Jared scrambled for something, anything, to say. Before he could, Jensen had grabbed the hem of his shirt. He stared up at Jensen through his lashes and, just as he had done many times, destroyed Jared’s rational thoughts. “Jensen. I want to make sure that you won’t regret this. I don’t want to fuck things up for you,” Jared murmured, opening up a dialogue that he’d sworn to himself that he would never, _ever_ even acknowledge. 

“You won’t.” Jensen whispered, voice enchanting and raw. 

How the hell was he supposed to turn that down? Fuck it, Jared thought. He’s clearly consenting. Jared impulsively shoved his shame into the back of his mind and placed his hand under Jensen’s chin. He stroked his thumb across Jensen’s velvety bottom lip, causing the boy to moan and shiver, pressing into Jared’s touch immediately. Fuck. “Jen, can I kiss you? Is that okay?”

Jensen laughed airily, cheeks still pink, and nodded. Jared was more than happy to oblige, guiding Jensen’s head towards him. He captured his lips with his own, and when Jensen made a startled little noise Jared couldn’t help but groan at his eagerness. Jared pulled away, but only by about half an inch, and looked Jensen dead in the eye. “I need you to tell me right away if you want this to stop, okay? Do you promise?” 

Jensen nodded instantaneously, and Jared smiled against his lips. He deepened the kiss, and Jensen responded sloppily. Jared froze for a minute as he came to a realization. 

“Jensen,” He whispered, trailing a hand down the boy’s clothed shirt. “Was that your first kiss?” 

Jensen nodded, and Jared was about to hesitate and question him further, but Jensen grabbed the back of his neck with eager hands and pushed their lips together once again. Jared shivered, and he was only slightly ashamed at the fact that he was already hard. How could he not be, when Jensen was so needy? “Okay, Jen,” He whispered against the younger man’s lips. “I’ll take care of you.” 

Jensen squirmed as Jared bit softly at his bottom lip and shifted so that Jensen was beneath him. Almost unintentionally, Jared placed his leg between Jensen’s thighs, and he groaned in surprise when he realized that Jensen was hard too. He pressed his thigh against him experimentally, barely enough to cause friction, but Jensen made an obscene noise that almost made Jared lose his damn mind. _God,_ Jared thought, mind suddenly clouded with lust. _He sounds like he’s already getting fucked._ Jared shook his head slightly, trying to snap himself out of it, because no, they were not going to go that far tonight. He was going to take his time with Jensen, love him slowly and gently like he deserved to be loved. He slipped his hands under Jensen’s t-shirt, stroking the soft skin there, and the younger man keened at the contact. He was so sensitive, so easy to please, and Jared had to shift his hips slightly.

Jared placed featherlight kisses on the expanse of Jensen’s smooth skin, and the boy responded beautifully to every single one. He was tempted to suck marks on him, but something in Jared was loathe to taint the perfection of him. 

He clawed at Jared’s back, seemingly unsure what to do  
.  
“Just rock your hips, sweetheart, it’ll feel good,” Jared instructed, slipping a hand under the elastic of Jensen's pajama pants. Jensen obeyed, arching up against Jared’s own hardness, and trembled with unexpected pleasure. “That’s it, Jen.” Slowly, Jared slid his hand under Jensen’s boxers. “This okay?” He asked, breathless.

“Please, please, please,” Jensen begged, pushing against Jared’s hand. His lips were swollen from Jared’s kisses and his eyes were partially closed. _Jesus_ , Jared thought as he just barely brushed his hand against Jensen’s bulge. _How can anyone be this fucking attractive?_ Jensen was the last person he’d expect to be noisy during sex, but here he was, very vocal and impossibly hot. When Jared wrapped his hand around his slick cock, Jensen’s hips stuttered and he made a desperate, beautiful sound. 

“Fuck, Jensen, look at you,” Jared whispered into Jensen’s ear, moving his hand slowly up and down his length. “So beautiful.” 

With every move of Jared’s hand, Jensen moaned and begged for more. So Jared obliged, quickening the pace and getting Jensen off rougher than he would have expected him to like. For reasons Jared didn’t really understand, this turned him on to no end. He wondered how much Jensen would love getting fucked, if he liked this so much. 

Jared kissed him, deep and dirty. Jensen's mouth was warm and pliant beneath his, but his body was reacting differently; Jared had to hold him down with his other arm to keep him still.

It wasn’t long before Jensen was coming with a cry, practically screaming Jared’s name as he spilled into his hand. His entire body trembled with pleasure, and he almost pieced Jared’s skin with how hard he was digging his nails into his arm. Jared didn’t mind, not when he could see the gorgeous look on Jensen’s face as he came. 

“Gorgeous,” Jared mumbled, kissing Jensen sloppily through the aftershocks. “God.” 

When Jensen’s body relaxed, Jared removed his hand and haphazardly grabbed a tissue and wiped it off before settling back in beside Jensen. Jared’s hands shook with how painfully turned on he was, and when Jensen whispered “You too?” and placed a hot hand against his thigh he almost caved. But tonight was about Jensen, and it was obvious to him that the boy was on the verge of sleep. 

“Next time,” Jensen mumbled against the sweat-slicked skin of Jensen’s neck. “Just sleep.” 

Jensen moaned in protest, but Jared shushed him. “I love you.” 

“Love you,” Jensen mumbled, and Jared’s heart almost fucking exploded. 

Once Jensen’s breathing slowed to an uneven rhythm, Jared twisted out of his gentle hold and snuck off to the bathroom. 

He got off quickly with the image of Jensen in his mind. Jared sighed, slumping up against the shower, because he’d never came so hard in his life. 

~

 

Jared awoke to Jensen’s comforting warmth beside him. His heart throbbed at the tranquil beauty of Jensen’s sleeping features. The sun covered his skin in dazzling spots, a reflection of the open blinds. Jensen’s beauty was ethereal. He looked so young and vulnerable, and a dark pang of guilt furrowed Jared’s brow.

Well, there went his morals. 

He woke Jensen with a feather-light kiss to his cheek, so he wouldn’t startle him. This seemed to do the trick, because Jensen woke up slowly, blinking languidly and rubbing a tired hand across his pillow-creased cheek. 

“Morning, Jen,” Jared mumbled, pulling him close. Jensen flushed beautifully at the contact, and Jared grinned into his hair. “How’d you sleep?” 

He didn’t answer, but Jared did get the next best thing: a smile against his bare skin. 

“I slept well too,” Jared muttered, stroking his face and kissing him slowly. He marvelled in Jensen’s contented sigh. The boy leaned into his touch so quickly, body responding almost immediately, and Jared hummed low in the back of his throat. _How the hell did I get so lucky?_ he thought as he wrapped a strong arm around Jensen’s middle. What had happened last night still seemed like some kind of dream; an absurdly hot, beautiful, happy dream. He would’ve felt much worse about the immorality of it if Jensen hadn’t been smiling so brightly. 

When his phone rang, startling them both, Jared groaned. “Ugh, Jen, that’s Jeff’s ringtone. I gotta pick up.”

Jensen whimpered slightly when Jared let go of him and Jared grinned, pecking him on the cheek one more time. He answered the phone. 

“Hey, Boss,” Jared said, throwing on some pants as he did so. “What’s up?” 

“We have Samantha Lehmann in custody. She needs to be interrogated. Something tells me you’ll be more than happy to take care of that for us.” 

Chills shot up Jared’s spine and he clenched his fist at his side. “I would be more than happy to,” Jared’s voice was hard, solid as stone, and Jensen seemed to pick up on this being as he noticeably tensed and sat up, staring at Jared inquisitively. Jared mouthed “It’s okay” and forced himself to grin despite the white hot resentment suddenly flooding his body. He’d get to talk to the monster who did this to Jensen, face to face. 

“Jared, you need to remember to be professional when you interrogate her. Don’t make me regret this decision.” 

“I’ll try my best, Boss.” 

He hung up the phone and took a seat next to Jensen on the bed, swiping the hair out of his eyes. It’d gotten long, although not nearly as long as Jared’s. He kissed his cheek again and Jensen flushed, giggling softly. 

“Jen, I have to go out today. But I’ll be home in less than an hour. Is that okay with you?” 

To Jared’s surprise, Jensen nodded and squeezed Jared’s hand. Jensen didn't ask questions didn't get upset, and for the millionth time Jared smiled at his unyielding understanding. 

“Thanks. I’ll be back soon. Call me if anything happens, okay?” 

Jensen nodded. Jared took off his shirt and grinned knowingly when he saw Jensen staring at him out of the corner of his eye. 

 

~

 

In every single case Jared had ever been a part of, no matter how vile or fucked up, he’d been able to remain professional when it came to interrogating suspects. 

But this time, as he stared into the dead eyes of the stick-thin woman before him, he felt as though he was about to have some sort of psychotic break. He couldn’t introduce himself like proper protocol instructed him to do. Jeff’s gaze from behind the glass meant little to him, now; all he could focus on was how much this monster had hurt Jensen, hurt such a beautiful boy, destroyed his mental and physical health without batting an eye. Mentally ill or not, she had still taken away his childhood. Jared took a seat, body heavy, and tried to meet the woman’s gaze. 

“Do you know why you’re here?” Jared asked through clenched teeth, posture rigid with fury. The woman said nothing and picked at a bloody hangnail on her index finger. “I’m speaking to you.” 

The woman looked up and smiled, eyes crinkling around the corners with emotion that was anything but jolly. He wan skin was tinted a sickly yellow and pocked with scars. When Jared’s eyes flitted to her wrists, he found tracks where she’d injected something into her flesh. Drugs. The woman opened her mouth, which was shriveled and yellowing. 

“I’m here because of how I treated my son.” 

A wave of vexation had Jared holding back an entire dictionary of bad names. “Jensen is _not_ your son.”

She continued grinning, watery blue eyes boring into Jared’s own. “His name is not Jensen. It’s Emmett.” 

“His name is Jensen Ackles. Do you know what you did to him? He was just a child, and you tortured him.” 

She barely bat an eye at Jared’s accusations. “Tough love isn’t torture. He deserved everything he got. I’m his mother, and it’s my right to make my son behave.”

Jared had never, _ever_ in his life felt the urge to be violent towards a woman, or anyone really, but he wanted nothing more than to grab her by the collar and give her a taste of her own medicine. “Behave?! You fucking took his life away! You abused him for years! You beat him so badly he was in the hospital for weeks. Don’t you feel any fucking remorse? What kind of a monster are you?!” Jared, realizing what he’d said, swiveled around in his chair met Jeff’s eyes through the glass walls of the interrogation room. Jeff shook his head as a warning. Jared took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself, and it almost did the trick. Almost. 

“He was a troubled child. He had to be put in his place,” Samantha said. Jared chose to stop arguing with the woman; she was obviously a psychopath. 

“So you admit to everything? You...you have the right to an attorney. You were read your rights.” Jared hated the fact that he had to give her this opportunity, that he had to play by the rules. Images of Jensen, small and young and afraid, clouded his rationality. 

Samantha smiled again, and Jared half expected maggots to crawl out of her orifices. “I’m proud of my parenting. Emmett came back to me, and I brought him up right.” 

“Samantha. I need you to answer this question. Was Emmett the name of the eight year old child you killed nineteen years ago?” 

The woman’s sly expression dissipated in an instant and she stood up, small body knocking over the chair by the sheer force of the moment. She slammed her grimy hands on the table. “Emmett is not dead. He came back to me. He’s _not_ dead!”

“He’s dead. Emmett has been dead for nineteen years. You killed him during a psychotic episode. You were released as a result of your Battered Woman Syndrome, remember?” 

She shrunk to the ground, picking up her chair and falling into it. “Take me,” Samantha whispered almost inaudibly. “Take me to him. Take me to Emmett.” 

“You are never seeing Jensen again. I’ll make fucking sure of it,” Jared spat, standing up and gathering his files with trembling hands. “I think we have the information we need. I’m going to do everything in my power to keep you from ever seeing the light of day again.” 

That was when Jeff stepped in. “Padalecki. Outside. _Now_.” 

Jared practically growled, blood thrumming in his head. Jeff followed him out, closing the door quietly. “Jared. You’re being highly unprofessional with this woman. You know I’m all for psychological interrogation techniques, but you’re breaking protocol. You’re too biased for this.” 

Jared sighed, shoulders sagging as the rage slowly left him. “You’re right, boss. But she...she admitted to everything, right? She’s going to prison?” 

Jeff smiled weakly, nodding his head. “Samantha Lehmann is going to prison. She didn’t even ask for a lawyer. Now get home and take care of Jensen.” 

Jared sighed in relief. He felt like he was missing an arm without Jensen by his side. “Thanks, Boss.” 

~

Jeff showed up unexpectedly that night just as he was getting ready for bed. He and Jensen had fallen asleep in his arms and Jared had sneakily untangled himself from him in order to change into something more comfortable. He certainly wasn't expecting Jeff to show up at his house at eleven PM,and although Jared loved his boss, he now associated his unexpected appearances with something negative. He braced himself for bad news as he made his way towards the door in his pajamas.

“Padalecki. I’m sorry to bother you so late at night, but I thought this was something I should tell you in person. As soon as possible.” Jeff’s deep brown eyes were sad, and Jared’s anxiety increased tenfold at his expression. 

“Boss,” Jared asked, frowning. “Why are you here?” 

“I’m here because we tracked down Jensen’s biological parents.” 

“Holy shit, you did?!” Jared let Jeff in and closed the door behind them, careful not to slam it too hard and wake Jensen. 

“They’re dead.” 

Suddenly, Jared’s throat went dry. He was struck dumb but the sheer injustice of it all. Why had Jensen, such an amazing and kind human being, been dealt such a terrible hand in his life? “God,” Jared breathed, running his hand through his ridiculously long hair. “How much more does he have to go through? I’ll keep him safe, Jeff. I have to.” 

“Jared,” Jeff said, voice heavy with something dark. “He has an aunt.” 

Jared looked at his boss strangely. “An aunt?”

“Yes. Her name is Darla Ackles, and she’s claimed custody of Jensen.” 

Jared’s stomach dropped. “Wait, what?! He’s eighteen, can’t he decide where he wants to go for himself?” 

Jeff sighed, clearly pained by what he was about to say. “Since he’s unfit for trial, he’s legally required to be in someone’s care,” Jeff sighed. “I really do believe that staying with you is what’s best for him. But it’s a legal issue. She has the right.”

Jared said nothing, but he practically fell onto his couch with the sheer shock of the news. “Are you telling me he has to leave?”

Jeff said nothing for a moment and then nodded. “Yes. As soon as possible. She’s flying in from California tomorrow afternoon.” 

Jared wanted to throw up. “She’s from California? And she’s taking Jensen with her?” 

“Jared, I know you’ve gotten attached to him over these last few months,” Jeff said, placing a warm, worn hand on Jared’s shoulder. “You have to understand that there’s nothing I can do. I’m sorry. She’s a good woman. I spoke to her over the phone.”

When Jared said nothing, Jeff stood up. “I’ll be back here tomorrow morning to take him to her. I’ll make sure he gets there safe.” 

Jared barely heard the door close as Jeff left. Although Jensen was fast asleep in the next room, he suddenly felt completely and utterly alone. 

 

~

The morning came too quickly. When Jensen woke up, ridiculously early as always, Jared still hadn’t slept. He’d been sitting on the couch all night with the TV on (he hadn’t really been watching). He had no idea how the hell he was supposed to break the news to Jensen, who still seemed to be half asleep. His small smile made Jared want to cry, and he cursed himself internally for being too damn emotional all the time. 

“Jensen,” Jared said, instantly regretting the grim tone of his voice when Jensen’s smile dissipated and fear replaced the light in his eyes. “You’re leaving today.” 

Jensen blinked, confused, and Jared’s heart shattered when tears began to well up in his eyes. He shook his head and wobbled over to Jared, taking a seat next to him and clinging to his arm. Jared sighed at the soft familiarity of his skin and leaned into him. “I don’t want you to go, Jen. This isn’t my choice. But Jeff called to tell me that you have an aunt in California, who apparently has legal rights to take care of you.” 

Jensen pushed his head into Jared’s chest, breaths quick and short in sudden panic. Jared pulled him in close and kissed him chastely on the lips. “It’ll be okay, I promise I’ll--” 

Jeff’s knock on the door startled them both, and they jumped apart at an inhuman speed. 

“He came early,” Jared mumbled, reaching over and squeezing Jensen’s hand. Jensen didn’t squeeze back, and Jared looked at him as he stood up to open the door. Jensen’s gaze was vacant, and his tears had disappeared before they could fall. Jared swallowed thickly, forcing himself to tear his eyes away, and opened the door. 

Jeff stood in casual clothes. His posture, normally confident and straight, was weak. Judging by the bags under his eyes, Jeff hadn’t slept much either, and Jared was oddly touched by his boss’ empathy. 

“Jared,” Jeff nodded. “Jensen. How are you?” 

Jensen continued staring into space. _Probably disassociating,_ Jared thought with yet another pang of grief. 

“Jensen. I’m sure Jared’s told you what’s going on. I’m going to take you to go meet your aunt Darla at the airport.” 

Jensen refused to make eye contact with either of them, and Jared felt his heart wither a bit more inside of his chest. He made his way back over to the couch and sat next to him, wrapping a ‘friendly’ arm around his shoulders in one swift movement. “Come on, Jen. You have to go.” 

“No,” Jensen’s voice was barely there, but strong. 

Jeff’s eyes widened in shock. “He’s been speaking?!” 

Jared nodded, biting his lip to keep it from trembling. “Yeah. Has been for the last two weeks. Isn’t it amazing?” His voice wavered and he cleared his throat. 

“It is.” 

“Jensen.” Jared said, discreetly rubbing his thumb across the skin of his upper arm. “It’s okay.” 

“No!” Jensen shoved Jared away but continued gripping his shirt, causing the collar to chafe uncomfortably “No, no, no, no,” Jensen chanted, clinging to Jared’s shirt harder with every syllable. “No!” 

Jared scrubbed a hand across his cheek, wiping away the stupid tears that suddenly wouldn’t stop coming. He tried so hard to smile, to smile for Jensen. “Jen. You’re going to be happy with your aunt, okay? She... she’s a kind woman. You’ll be…” Jared’s voice cracked when he saw the shock and pain in Jensen’s green eyes. “You’ll be happy.”

“No!” Jensen finally let go on Jared’s shirt and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Don’t leave, Jared, don’t leave!”

Jared couldn’t help it. A pathetic sob escaped him as he pulled Jensen closer, taking in the smell of his hair. “She’s your family, Jensen,” He whispered. God, he was going to miss this. He couldn’t imagine his life without Jensen’s bright smiles, without the calculated method he used to sort plates and books. He was going to miss Jensen’s pure excitement over such small things. He was going to miss his few words, each one packed with more meaning than any famous author could convey in a novel. “You’ll be happy.” Jared was well aware that he was repeating himself, but this belief was the only thing that kept him from losing his mind. _He’ll be loved._

Over Jensen’s shoulder, Jared could see how grim Jeff looked. 

“I love you, Jen,” Jared whispered in the younger man’s ear, too quiet for Jeff to hear. “Don’t ever forget that, okay? I love you and you deserve love.” 

Jensen sobbed against him, nails digging into Jared’s back.

“Jared,” Jeff called, tone heavy with empathy. “He needs to come with me now.” 

“God, shit, okay,” Jared breathed, stroking Jensen’s hair one last time. “Jen, sweetheart, you need to go. You can call me, anytime. I’ll be here when you need me.” Realistically, Jared knew that they’d probably never see each other again, being as Darla lived in California. But he was still just a call away. 

It took all the inner strength Jared had to push Jensen away from him. He couldn’t look into his eyes anymore, couldn’t face the raw sadness there. “Goodbye, Jensen.”

Jared turned around before the door closed, and he stood still until he heard Jeff’s engine start from outside his window. As soon as he was sure the two were gone, Jared lost it. He grabbed the nearest plate and threw it with all his might, watching with red eyes as porcelain pieces fell to the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this chapter had such a sad ending ;___; but you have my word that this will have a VERY happy ending, and things will be looking up in the next chapter! And there's more smut to come ;)  
> As always, remember to check out the spotify playlist and add whichever songs you'd like to it! here's the link:  
> https://open.spotify.com/user/hermione555/playlist/22EhtZcRFyZBpMyk4naPI9


	11. Unity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is!! I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. This has really been a lot of fun, thank you for sticking with me. Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes, i didn't edit this yet! I'll get around to it, but I know a lot of you guys were anxious to see what happened next so I went ahead and posted the un-edited version.

It had only been a day since Jensen left, but things already seemed to be less exciting without him around; less colorful. The deep gray of the clouds simply blended in with the rest of Jared’s surroundings and his apartment had lost all of its homey warmth, at least in his eyes. It was past ten P.M. and he was curled up on the couch watching Star Trek with a heavy blanket wrapped around his shoulders. It was pitiful, how lonely he felt without Jensen. He’d been fine on his own before.

He worried. He wondered how Jensen was doing and how well he would adjust. Would he still speak? Would he eat enough? Did his aunt know how to help him through panic attacks and calm him down? Jared had chewed his nails down to nothing. He was ashamed at the intense emptiness he felt without Jensen by his side, the sheer need. Images of Jensen’s face as he touched his skin flashed before his mind, and it was almost too much to take. _Fucking Christ,_ he thought with a shake of his head. _I just had to go and fall in love with an eighteen year old kid, didn’t I?_

The vibration of Jared’s phone against the coffee table startled him out of his stupor. On his screen was a text from Chad. _Im comin over so u better b decent_

Jared rolled his eyes. It was so like Chad to show up (pretty much) unannounced. Jared really didn’t feel like dealing with his whining right now, but he supposed some company would be good. It’d get him out of his own head, maybe distract him from thoughts of Jensen.

Chad arrived in less than ten minutes, as promised, and let himself in. Jared had given him a key in case of a work-related emergency, but he’d regretting this decision multiple times when Chad had shown up completely plastered and sobbing about a girl. 

 

“Hey!” Chad bound over to Jared’s carefully crafted couch den and plopped down beside him, ruining the perfect arrangement of blankets he’d created. Chad frowned as he took in Jared’s appearance. “You look like shit.” 

“Thanks, man.” 

“Just being honest. Boss told me Jensen left. You okay?” Chad asked, uncharacteristically concerned. 

“Uh. Yeah. I guess...I guess it was for the best. I’m fine.” 

Chad raised his eyebrows as he continued to stare at Jared judgmentally. He was wearing pajamas despite the fact that it was past 2 P.M. and hadn’t shaved since Monday. “Yeah, okay bud. That’s BS. Get your shit together, I’m taking you out.” 

Jared blinked. “Huh?” 

“Go get dressed. Do you have cheese puffs?” 

“Yes?” Jared replied. “But I don’t really feel like going out--” 

“You need to get out of here for a while. And get drunk. I know you owe me a few drinks but I’ll make an exception this time and buy you yours.” 

“Uh,” Jared mumbled. “Thanks.” 

“You’re paying me in cheese puffs!” Chad called from the kitchen. Jared cracked a smile for the first time since Jensen left, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t feel good. He stretched, walked to his room, and threw on a comfortable shirt and jeans. He splashed his face with water, and began mentally preparing himself to go barhopping with Chad. Being a friendly extrovert, Jared normally thrived when he was in public, but today he found that he wanted nothing more than to just sit in bed. He did like the idea of getting shitfaced, however, so he begrudgingly made his way back into the kitchen. He found Chad with his feet up on the table, fingers covered in orange powder. Jared rolled his eyes. 

“Make yourself at home, why don’t you,” He grumbled. “I’m dressed.” 

Chad jumped out of his chair and beamed, punching the air as a celebration of victory. “YES! Come on!” He grabbed Jared’s arm and practically dragged him away. 

~

 

In the car, Chad blasted classic rock and drove way above the speed limit. Nothing unusual. Jared raised his eyebrows when he shut off the radio and turned to look at Jared, something serious in his eyes. 

“Are you in love with him?” 

Jared stiffened “What?” 

“You heard me. I know you have feelings for him, but are you in love with him?” 

Jared swallowed, throat suddenly tight. “I...yeah. I am.” 

Chad whistled, pulling into a parking space and shutting off his car. “That fucking blows, man.” 

Jared laughed ruefully. “Yeah, it does.” 

“Well,” Chad said as he got out of the car. “Guess it’s time to get wrecked.” 

Jared snorted and followed Chad. Their arms brushed as they walked together, and Jared was hit with a sharp pang of fondness towards his best friend. Once inside, they took a seat at the bar. The blonde bartender nodded at Chad, and he replied with a quick: “Hey, Alona.”

“What’ll it be?” Alona asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “The usual?” 

Chad shrugged. “Yeah, for me. But this guy over here needs something a lot stronger.” 

Jared grinned sheepishly and raised his hand in a greeting. “Hey, I’m Jared.” 

She smiled back. “I’m Alona. Your friend practically lives here.” 

Jared chuckled when Alona slid a straight up shot of vodka his way. He plugged his nose and downed it in one painful gulp. God, he hated the taste of alcohol, but the warmth in his chest that followed was much appreciated.

Once Alona was occupied and they’d both had a few drinks, Chad swiveled towards Jared, a dopey grin on his face. “Y’know,” He said.“If it was anyone else, I’d call you creepy. But you’re not, Jared. You’re a good guy, and you two would look damn good together.”

“Uh. Thanks?” 

“It’s a compliment, trust me,” Chad took another shot and slapped Jared on the back, hard. “Dude, that kid’s got it bad for you. When’s he coming to visit?” 

Jared’s smile faltered. “He isn’t.” 

“Oh. Shit. Figured you’d at least get to see each other.” 

“I mean, he’s all the way in California. Not sure his Aunt Darla will be willing to ship him all the way out here just to see me.” 

“Alright, pal, c’mere,” Chad slung a toned arm around Jared’s shoulders. “I’ll buy you a couple more.” 

Jared nodded appreciatively. Soon, he’d almost lost himself in the peaceful incompetence of intoxication, but he still couldn’t help but notice that the green bottle of booze on the shelf had nothing on Jensen’s eyes. 

 

~

The following night, Jared’s shutters seemed to be shaking the entire house. The storm rattled them with the force of thunder, but he was unfazed. 

It had been two days since Jared had gotten a proper night’s sleep. He sunk into the cushions of his couch, sighing into their plush warmth, and soon he was dozing. It wasn’t long, however, until Jared was startled awake by an incessant pounding on his front door. He rubbed his eyes and glanced at the clock. It was past two A.M. Not even Jeff or Chad would come over this late, definitely not with such a dangerous storm going on, and Jared suddenly felt uneasy. He stood up slowly, walking quietly into his bedroom. He grabbed his gun from the holster of his uniform, which he kept hung up in his closet, and cautiously made his way to the door. 

The deluge of rain pouring from the sky coupled with the deep thrum of thunder made it impossible to ask who was at his door at two in the goddamn morning. So he opened it slightly, just an inch or two, and gripped his gun tightly at his side. 

“Oh my God,” Jared said, jaw dropping when he saw who was standing before him. 

It was Jensen. His t-shirt was plastered to his skin, and his hair fell flat on his face from the weight of the rain. His lean body was shivering from the cold, and his eyes were huge and afraid. 

“Holy fuck, Jensen, what the hell are you--Jesus, get inside!” 

He practically yanked Jensen through the door, and the boy immediately snaked his arms around his waist and practically squished the life out of him. For a moment, Jared didn’t reciprocate the embrace, as he was too shocked to even process what was happening. But when Jensen whispered his name, he was brought back to reality. 

“How did you...how did you get here?! I thought your plane left yesterday!” Jared was on the verge of sounding hysterical, what with the combination of elation and shock in his tone. 

Jensen said nothing, but every question Jared had for him was put on hold when he noticed how much his cold body was trembling. “Come on, Jen, let’s get you into some warm clothes.” He took Jensen by the hand and winced. His soft skin was like ice. Jared guided him into his room and quickly rummaged through his drawers for some clean, comfortable pajamas. Jared tossed Jensen some boxers, warm sweat pants, and a huge T-shirt he’d won at the county fair a few years back. Despite the fact that he’d seen every part of Jensen already, Jared still respectfully averted his eyes. His mind was going a million miles an hour. How the hell was this happening? 

Once he was in warm clothes, Jared guided Jensen to his bed and sat him down. Jensen immediately grabbed him again and buried his head in Jared’s chest. He was still shivering, and Jared ran a soothing hand down his arms. “Jen,” he whispered. “Did you run away?” 

Jensen nodded. Jared’s breath caught in his throat; he hated himself for feeling so giddy over the fact that Jensen was in his arms again. 

“Okay,” Jared breathed, holding him tight. “That’s okay. How did you find the apartment again?”

“Bus. I remembered,” Jensen whispered. Jared couldn’t help but laugh; he was stupidly happy. Giddy, even. 

“You took the bus? And then...you walked here from the bus stop? In the rain?” 

Jensen nodded again and Jared ran his fingers through Jensen’s soaking wet hair.

“Your aunt is probably really worried. We should call Jeff as soon as we can so he can get a hold of her--” 

“Don’t!” Jensen’s voice suddenly rose in volume and he gripped Jared so tightly that it would certainly leave marks. Jared winced but still swelled with shameful pride. 

“Hey, hey, shhh,” Jared said soothingly, stroking Jensen's thigh. “It’s alright, Jen, everything's alright. I think they’ll let you stay with me after this. They won't take you away again. I won’t let them.” 

Jensen visibly relaxed, body going slack against Jared’s. “Promise?” He asked feebly. Jared picked up his hand and kissed it; a gentle, barely-there brush of his lips. 

“I promise. You’re eighteen. If you show them that you’re capable of making your own choice, they’ll let you. They have to. It’s legal stuff,” Jared explained as he grinned like an idiot. “I’m just gonna call Jeff to let him know that you’re okay. That’s all.”

When Jensen didn’t protest, Jared grabbed his phone out of his pocket and dialed his boss’ number. 

“Padalecki!” Jeff sounded frantic. “I’ve been trying to contact you, Jensen ran away, he’s--” 

“He’s with me, boss. He showed up at my house about ten minutes ago. Told me he found his way here from the airport.” 

Jared could hear Jeff’s sigh of relief through the phone. “Christ. I knew he liked you, but I didn’t know how much. I’ll contact his aunt and let him know what’s going on. He’s gonna stay with you. I’ll make it happen.” 

“Thank you, boss.” Jared hung up and smiled reassuringly at Jensen. “See? Jeff isn’t going to make you leave.” 

Jensen looked up, meeting Jared’s eyes. His eyelashes were wet with rain drops and he was as beautiful as ever. Jensen continued staring until Jared colored under his gaze.

“What is it?” 

Jensen’s eyes flashed to Jared’s lips. Oh. Jared cleared his throat and swallowed (Jensen’s eyes followed the movement). Jensen continued staring, looking at Jared with wide, seemingly-innocent eyes. He looked so corruptible, so perfect; Jared chuckled and shook his head. There was no way this wasn’t intentional. Jared’s laughter died, however, when Jensen placed his hand on Jared’s upper thigh. This clearly wasn’t an innocent gesture. 

“Uh,” Jared mumbled. He shifted awkwardly. “Jen, you need to eat something. And you’re probably exhausted...” 

Jared trailed off when Jensen spread his legs _just_ slightly. It was enough to completely clarify his intentions, and Jared caved. 

“Fuck,” He groaned and grabbed Jensen’s face, pulling it towards his own. “Do you know what you do to me?” 

Kissing Jensen was like coming home. Sweet relief washed over Jared as he finally came to terms with reality. Jensen was _back_ , he was safe, and he was in Jared’s arms again. Apparently, Jensen was thinking something similar, because he sighed against Jared’s lips and deepened the kiss. Jensen’s tongue was gentle and inexperienced as Jared allowed him to explore his mouth. He tasted like rain water and smelled like the fruity shampoo Jared had allowed him to pick out at the store just a few days before he’d left. Jared started off slow, kissing Jensen passionately but not altogether lewdly. Jensen was having none of that, however, as he deepened the kiss and pressed his hands against Jared’s pecs. Jared chuckled against his mouth. 

“You’re always so eager, aren’t you?” He whispered as hot arousal pooled in his gut. His jeans were suddenly much too tight, and with a glance he could see that Jensen was dealing with a similar problem beneath his pajama bottoms. “You sure you want this right now?” Jared’s tone was almost teasing, because he was ninety-nine percent sure of Jensen’s answer. His suspicions were confirmed when Jensen glared at him pointedly and nodded strongly. 

“Alright, alright,” Jared said, kissing him in the middle of his sentence. “Pushy.” 

He traced the outline of Jensen's cock through his pajama bottoms and the younger man drew in a sharp breath. He whimpered quietly and Jared savored the sound. He teased him for a few more moments, pressing his palm against Jensen’s clothed length, before slipping his hand under the waistband of Jensen’s pajama pants. 

“Can I take them off?” Jared asked, trying and failing to keep the eagerness out of his tone. Jensen answered by clumsily taking them off himself, boxers included. Jared swallowed thickly at the view. Fuck. 

He wasted no time. He wrapped his hand around Jensen’s hard cock and stroked languidly, just as he had last time, and despite Jensen’s small, breathy moans, Jared could tell that this wasn’t enough. 

“Can I...put my fingers inside of you this time? Is that okay?” 

Jensen nodded, eyes fluttering shut and body trembling at the mere suggestion, and Jared couldn’t help but stare. 

“Let me get something, hold on,” Jared mumbled, temporarily removing himself from Jensen to grab the lube from his bedside drawer. Jensen whined in protest at the loss of contact, but sighed contentedly when Jared wet his fingers and resumed his previous position.

Jared barely brushed the outside of Jensen’s hole with his index finger, and Jensen jumped at the contact. Jared almost pulled back, taking this response as something negative, but to his surprise Jensen breathed out a quiet “Please” and pushed against his hand. So Jared obliged, pressing a thick finger inside of the tight heat. He pushed it in slowly so as to not hurt Jensen, but this didn't seem to be a problem because the noise Jensen made was absolutely obscene. 

“Holy fuck,” Jared breathed, cock impossibly hard. “You...really like that, don't you?” 

Jensen nodded vigorously, eyes closed and cheeks dusted with pink. 

“God, fuck, okay. I'll...Okay,” Jared seemed to have lost the ability to speak as he added another finger. Jensen's entire body shuddered and he rocked back against Jared’s hand, whining pathetically. 

“Jared!” Jensen keened when Jared began slowly thrusting in and out. Jared felt light headed; he hadn’t being this turned on in ages. 

“Don't think I'm ever gonna get over that,” Jared mumbled against Jensen's neck and he finger fucked him shallowly. “You saying my name.” 

Jensen's legs fell open impossibly wider, given Jared a spectacular view, and it took all of Jared's self control not to fuck the younger man right then and there. 

“S...Sex, want to…” Jensen's voice was rough, broken, and Jared could see him straining to choke out his syllables. “With...You, Jared, please!” 

Jared groaned as Jensen tightened around his fingers, soft and velvety. “Shh, sweetheart,” Jared said, kissing Jensen sloppily on the lips. “Not yet. Don't think you're…” Jared gasped when Jensen ground against him, hard and desperate. “Don't think you're ready yet.”

“I _am_ ,” Jensen panted, holding onto Jared for dear life and tightening around his fingers. “I am I am I _am_!” 

“Fucking needy,” Jared said hoarsely. “Aren’t you?” Jared’s resolve was quickly crumbling, and he was beginning to lose control over the words pouring from his mouth. When Jensen nodded eagerly, wriggling his hips in an invitation, Jared lost it. “You really want to get fucked, huh sweetheart?” 

Jensen nodded and bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. Jared shushed him, running his fingers through sweaty, sandy-brown locks. “So good for me, Jen. So good.” Jared removed his own pants in one swift motion, sighing gratefully at the relieved pressure. He rolled his boxers down, and he almost missed the way Jensen was staring at him. His eyes were wide, and the green of his irises were almost completely eclipsed by his pupils. Jared almost laughed when he saw how intently Jensen was staring at his assets, but when the younger man licked his lips hungrily any amusement Jared was feeling died immediately. Suddenly he was imagining those perfect lips wrapped around his cock, sucking him off slow and sloppily, and he growled in the back of his throat. If he wasn’t so anxious to get inside of Jensen, he might have brought that idea up. 

Jared fell back on top of Jensen, who whimpered at the restoration of contact. His skin was burning hot, almost like he had a fever, and Jared could feel the sticky slide of precome against his thigh. Jared kissed Jensen’s neck again, being as he seemed to enjoy that before, and he was rewarded by a clumsy thrust of Jensen’s hips. 

“You ready?” 

Jensen nodded, and Jared breathed out a shuddering sigh. He kissed Jensen once again, almost all tongue to distract him from what could possibly be momentarily unpleasant, and lined himself up with his entrance. He pushed the tip inside of Jensen, using every ounce of his self control to keep himself from fucking into him hard and fast. He felt so fucking _good_ and Jared groaned with need. 

“More,” Jensen begged, attempting to push himself farther onto Jared’s cock almost immediately. God, this kid was going to be the death of him. After a short (but agonizing) wait, Jared allowed himself the luxury of pushing in a few more inches. His mouth lolled open when Jensen didn’t even flinch; he moaned like a pornstar, scratching at Jared’s back and writing around in the sheets. Jared thought hazily that he must have done a good job preparing him, because Jensen seemed to be enjoying every second of this. Jared bottomed out, barely brushing against Jensen’s prostate, and the boy keened. He stared up at Jared, cheeks dusted beautifully with freckles and flush. His perfect lips were parted slightly, in awe of the sensations he was experiencing. Jared took this as permission to begin moving; he pulled out slightly and thrust back in. When Jensen’s moans only increased in volume, Jared groaned and picked up the pace. 

Soon he was fucking Jensen harder, deeper, though the gentle concern in the back of his mind kept him from being too rough. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Jensen in any way; he couldn’t get enough of the sounds of pure bliss leaving Jensen’s mouth with every thrust. 

Jensen soon removed a shaking hand from Jared's back and bit into his own fist in what Jared assumed to be an attempt to muffle his cries. 

“Let it out, baby,” Jensen purred, grunting as he thrust especially deeply into Jensen’s tight, pliant body. “Want to hear you.”

Jensen flushed even further in embarrassment but obeyed Jared’s request, letting his hand fall to his side. Jared stroked the soft skin of his arm and took Jensen’s bottom lip between his teeth, nibbling on it slightly, and the boy moaned wantonly. Jared trailed his fingers down the expanse of Jensen’s soft chest; his skin was like velvet: smooth and supple. Jared toyed with his pink nipples, just barely brushing them with his fingers, and Jensen gasped and tightened around his length. Jared fucked into him faster, and he could feel the buildup of sweet release in his lower abdomen. Jensen, who seemed to be rapidly losing cognitive function, squirmed beneath him. His cock was leaking onto Jared’s chest, and Jared took him in his hand. 

That was all it took for Jensen. He tensed up beneath Jared and then he was coming with a high pitched whine, splattering come all over Jared’s hand. He tightened almost painfully around Jared, who was tipped over the edge soon after. He came hard inside of Jensen, groaning at the intense waves of pleasure that coursed through him as he gave one final thrust into Jensen’s lithe body. 

He fell against Jensen and pulled him close to his chest. Jensen still seemed to be in some sort of stupor; he was shivering slightly from the aftershocks and mumbling something incoherent.

“Feel good, Jen?” 

Jensen nodded dumbly against him, body completely limp now. Jared kissed him sloppily once more. 

“I love you, Jen. So fucking much.”

He felt Jensen’s smile against his shoulder, and warmth bloomed inside of his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY HAPPY! HAPPY! I love writing happy things, it always puts me in a great mood. Thank you for reading, please comment if you liked this chapter. 
> 
> This work is coming to an end, there will probably only be one or two more chapters. I love you all very much.


	12. Voice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all so much. Thank you for reading.

Two Years Later

“So why did you run away from the airport that day?” Jared said to his boyfriend, who was currently curled up on his lap. Jensen looked up and blushed slightly, grabbing the hem of Jared’s shirt. Jared grinned at the familiar action. 

“I…” Jensen began, voice soft and sweet. “I was in love with you. And you were safe. That’s why.” 

Jared bent downwards and placed a gentle kiss on Jensen’s lips. “That’s it? Thought you might have been afraid of flying or something.” 

Jensen giggled, sitting up slightly and kissing Jared again. His lips were warm, and he tasted like the cherry chapstick he’d always steal from Jared’s nightstand. “I wasn’t.” 

Over the course of the last two years, Jensen had slowly begun speaking again. He was still a man of few words, but he spoke in full sentences now and almost always responded to questions. He would still have regression periods, of course, where his old mindset would resurface. During those tough times, he would lose his voice again. But it always came back. Always. 

Jared treasured every single syllable that fell from his lover’s lips. 

“I love your voice, did you know that?” Jared asked, twirling a strand of Jensen’s hair between his fingers. Jensen laughed, deep and smooth. 

“Yes. You always say that!” 

Jared gave him a playful shove and Jensen ‘s laughter grew in volume. It was so easy, making Jensen laugh, and Jared would never tire of the infectious sound. “Keep giving me attitude and I won’t make you Mac n Cheese tonight.” 

Jensen feigned a look of horror, slapping a hand over his mouth and shaking his head. “No more attitude.”

For the millionth time that day, Jared was struck by how completely and utterly in love he was. Jensen was his world, and always would be; hence the uncomfortable ring box in his back pocket that was digging into his left butt cheek. Jared shifted awkwardly and swallowed, palms suddenly sweaty. Jensen was only twenty. What if he said no? What if--

Jared’s thoughts were interrupted when Jensen sat up, staring into Jared’s eyes. “Love you,” He said, placing an impossibly soft hand on Jared’s stubbly cheek. Jensen had developed the uncanny ability to sense Jared’s emotions and to figure out when his mood shifted. It killed Jared every time; his heart was surely a pile of goo by now. 

“I’m okay, Jen. Don’t worry. But I love you too.” 

Jensen was not convinced. His head was tilted to the side slightly and his brows were furrowed in concern. 

“Hey,” Jared said, wiping his sweaty palms on his sweat pants.”Will you come somewhere with me tonight?” 

“Yes.” 

Jared breathed a sigh of relief. Going out of the house with Jensen was sometimes still a challenge, what with his extreme social anxiety. But he answered without hesitation, which meant that he was up for it tonight. “Thank you, Jen. I appreciate it. This is...uh, important.” 

Jensen paled and Jared immediately regretted his word choice. “No, no, it’s nothing bad!” 

Jensen visibly relaxed and lowered himself back onto Jared’s lap. 

~

The sky was orange and pink as Jared drove with Jensen in the passenger seat. Dying sunlight streamed through the windshield, temporarily obscuring Jared’s view of the road, and he tightened his grip on the wheel. He took deep breaths, trying and failing to smooth his features into something that he hoped would appear calm and composed. But as always, Jensen saw right through him and placed a warm hand on his thigh. 

Jared pulled into a parking space and Jensen blinked, confused, and shielded his eyes from the sun with his hand. “The park?” He asked, voice small. 

“Yeah,” Jared cleared his throat and forced himself to look at Jensen; his world, his sun, his reason. “Will you come with me? I packed us a picnic last night while you were asleep.” 

Jensen’s face lit up like a child on Christmas morning. “Really?” He asked with a hopeful smile. 

“It’s so easy to impress you,” Jared said with a grin. "I made sandwiches. They’ll probably taste like crap, but you’re not picky, so I figured it would be okay.” 

Jensen nodded and practically hopped out of the car when Jared opened the door for him. Warm light contrasted with his cool, green eyes, enhancing his otherworldly beauty, and Jared’s breath caught in his throat. He couldn’t help but to grab Jensen by the waist and pull him in for a kiss. Jensen squeaked in surprise but soon returned the kiss, allowing Jared to tighten his hold on him without hesitation. When Jared pulled away, Jensen pouted. Jared laughed and grabbed his hand. 

“Later, sweetheart. Promise I’ll kiss you more later.” 

Jensen blushed and looked down at his feet. Jared’s anxiety slowly dissipated, quelled by the calm familiarity of Jensen. “Let’s go.” 

~

They ate together on Jared’s old blanket beneath an abnormally large willow tree. The slight wind chill made the humid air much more bearable, and the two sat in a comfortable silence. As usual, Jensen didn’t say much, but his gentle touches and small smiles were more than good enough. Small children sat on the swings across the way, their tiny giggles audible even from such a far distance. 

“Do you remember the last time we were here, Jen?” Jared asked. His voice was almost carried away by the wind, but Jensen seemed to have heard him. He nodded. 

“It was a good day, wasn’t it?” Jared knew he sounded kind of stupid, but Jensen continued to nod with genuine interest. “Um. I guess, since we have such good memories here, I wanted to ask you something.” 

Jensen looked at him sincerely, giving him permission to go on, and Jared swallowed. His throat was suddenly very dry, because _holy fuck_ he was actually going to do this. “Jensen. I know I say it all the time, but you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. All...all I want is to love you like you deserve to be loved. And I promise I’ll try my hardest to do that.” 

Jensen’s face was flushed from Jared’s kind words, but his eyes were still confused. Jared sighed shakily and placed his hand on his back pocket. “You’re the strongest, most incredible person I’ve ever known and…” Jared’s voice cracked as he pulled the box out and dropped to one knee. “I want to be here to love you, and protect you, and...yeah. All of that. Forever.” 

Jensen slapped both of his hands over his mouth and his eyes widened. _He caught on,_ Jared thought, almost detachedly. “I know you’re young, much younger than I am so I’ll understand if you aren’t ready for this yet. That is, if you even want to. I…” Jared trailed off, realizing that he was rambling. “Jensen, will you marry me?” Jared popped the box open, revealing the sparkling gemstone-encrusted ring embedded in its velvet interior. 

Jensen was silent and still for a moment. His mouth had fallen open, and his gaze flashed between Jared and the ring in his hand, and then back again. Jared was about to assume the worst. Apologizes formed on his tongue as his sweaty hands fiddled with the blue box. But before he could so much as utter a sound, Jensen had also dropped to his knees. Then his arms were around Jared, who immediately felt the wetness of warm tears on his t-shirt. “Yes,” Jensen sobbed against his shoulder, hanging onto him for dear life. “Yes, yes, yes.” 

Jared’s entire body sagged with relief. “Oh thank God,” he breathed against the skin of Jensen’s neck, taking in his comforting scent. With strong arms, Jared guided them both onto the picnic blanket, and kissed Jensen with everything he had. He tasted like the sky looked like; warm, sweet, and endless. 

“Love you,” Jensen said, relaxing against Jared’s body. “Love you, Jared.” 

“I love you too, Jen. So much it kills me.” 

Jensen giggled when Jared picked him up and dipped him ballroom style. Everything disappeared behind them; the sounds of the wind shaking tree branches, and the trilling of birds and insects melted into their surroundings. Jensen was all that mattered. All that Jared would ever need. 

“Thank you,” Jensen said, pulling away. He was still crying, but quietly; he bit his swollen bottom lip to keep it from trembling.”Thank you, Jared.” 

Aghast, Jared asked: “What are you thanking me for?” 

 

“Hope.” 

~

They held hands all the way to the car, and letting go was agonizing. Jared rolled his eyes at this own smitten mind. He was a hormonal teenager again, although this ran so much deeper than a fleeting infatuation. So, so much deeper. 

As he pulled out of the parking lot. Jared turned on their favorite alternative station. He kept the volume low, however, because he was already distracted enough (he didn’t want to get them killed, after all). 

“I’m never going to let anyone hurt you again, Jen. I promise.” Jared said. He hadn’t even realized that he’d spoken that out loud until the words had escaped his lips. 

Jensen smiled, drumming his glittering fingers against his leg. He looked incredible with an engagement ring on, Jared observed. 

“I know.” 

Jared blinked at the sincerity in Jensen’s tone. Two years later, and he still wasn’t used to just how complex and beautiful Jensen truly was. 

“What do you want to do when we get home? I know you’re not twenty-one yet but we can crack open a bottle of champagne, just this once. Cuz', you know, I think today calls for a celebration.” 

Jensen shook his head, declining Jared’s offer, and twiddled his thumbs. Jared was confused for a moment, only to grin slyly when he took in Jensen’s facial expression. Bashful, needy. 

“Oh. Guess champagne can wait.” 

He intertwined his free hand with Jensen’s and stroked the impossibly soft skin there. 

“Jared.” 

“Yeah?” Jared asked, meeting the emerald eyes that endless depth. 

“You...brought my voice back.”

Jared smiled, eyes suddenly stinging. “No, Jen. _You_ did.” 

 

END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you endlessly for sticking by me this entire time. I know there are some questions I've left unanswered, but please know that this was intentional. The theme of this story is safety, hope, and unconditional love (aka tooth rotting fluff) so I thought it best to leave some things ambiguous, such as the details of Jensen's backstory. I had the time of my life writing this, and reading your comments has brought so much color into my life. THANK YOU. 
> 
> Love,  
> Kait


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